Date: Wed, 09 Jul 2008
From: Masha
Hello Amy Grant
My name is Masha,
I just wanted to thank you really much for writing and sinning so many great songs.
Until I realized it was a typo, I almost stopped reading at the word sinning (The Mandible has taken a lot of heat on this page).
I think you are the best singer in the world. My dream is to maybe see you live in concert once. I was wondering if you are going to be making any new albums in the future?
As long as there remains breath within me and I remember how to work the Mandible hinge.
Your songs are so beautiful and inspirational. I’m only 14, now, but I hope when I grow up I can become a gospel singer just like you.
Learn from the best!
I wish you the best of luck in the future
Many thanks for your kind words (-1).
PS you have your father eyes
Only because I haven't found just the right taxidermist yet. (Not to be defensive, but in Tennessee you're allowed seven years to look for one before possession of human remains becomes an official police matter.)
; )
Amy
Subject: Re: from your dental friend
Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2008
From: Gina P.
Hey Amy,
Did the police man give you my card?
He was a friend of yours? I duck whenever I see a cop. Never have an unnecessary encounter with law enforcement, that's my motto.
I liked the man from the Islands, he had a great sound. What was his name?
Marley? Bob Marley?
I would like to buy his CD.
He'd love to be around to sell you one, I'm sure.
You guys are real for doing the concert, it is amazing to me to see all you and your husband give back. Thats what it's all about.
Your dental friend,
Gina
Hokey + Pokey 4-ever!
:)
Subject: Re: from your dental friend
Date: Wed, 12 Mar 2008
From: Gina P.
Hey, I've got an idea. Let's skip the nice words to you and ask you about your needs. You obviously have some incite into the motivations of people. That probably comes from years of being in the public eye, and having people scrutinize your every move. You being a "Christian" and all. Why do you care to write back to these emails? Especially if you have no intention of revealing if this is indeed who you really are. I think you may be someone who gets a laugh out of making people like me think I might actually be emailing the great and mighty Amy G. Grant??????????????????????????? Tell me this, do you really feel loved? Do you still carry around guilt? Respectfully, Who the hell are you? Can you say you know for sure. your dental friend,
Gina
Ps. This is sort of fun like a ping pong game, but writing to some unknown person is kinda wierd, but I think you told me that already.Maybe one day I'll really meet Amy.
Wow . . . *mental* and *dental* totally rhyme. I just noticed that!!
:)
P.S. -- I think your ? key might be stuck. (You might should wash your hands before typing, if you've had your hands in peoples' mouths.)
Subject: Re: from your mental friend
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 2008
From: Gina P.
THAT IS FUNNY
From: Kara
Subject: Looking for one of Vince's songs
Date: Sat, 9 Feb 2008
When I watched the Oprah show this past holiday season, you and Vince Gill were on it.
What is the name of the song Vince wrote for you? I call it the "Smile" song.
You an Vince have a very blessed relationship. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us in America.
You may be talking about "Whenever You Come Around," which Vince Gill wrote with Mr. Pete Wasner.
Or you may be talking about "Smile," which was written by Charlie Chaplin. In which case you may have the wrong website.
Subject: Christmas Lyrics
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008
From: Peter D.
Is there any way to actually contact Amy? I have some Christmas lyrics I'd like to send her, and was wondering what address might be most appropriate...
Most Appropriate: Stand outside her window, hold a boombox over your head, and blare your xmas mix tape (it worked in a movie once.)
Thanks
-Pete D.
This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message.
Any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. [v.E.1]
Oh, damn! I answered your message. *Answer* is a verb, and a verb is what? Right. An action. How I hate violating applicable laws!
Amy
:)
Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2008
From: Peter D.
ROFL!!
I love the boom-box idea. That's way romantic! Except without music to
go WITH the lyrics, the effect might be, well... bizarre. :)
Or, as various Departments of Literature around the world call it: poetry.
There was music, of course, but the guy who wrote the music did it very
quickly (you know Pastors... they're always so pressed for time), and I
was never entirely satisfied with it. So I'm thinking - the music part
should be re-done by someone willing to spend a bit more time with it.
And good grief - there MUST be some way to eliminate that annoying blurb
about "confidential information..." at the end of each email! Augh, how
embarrassing. Serves me right for emailing from my work address (sigh).
There is. Quit your job.
But seriously... am I writing to Amy Grant here?
I give up. Are you?
Or is this... Amy Brant, perhaps? Or Amy Ant, sister of 80's superstar Adam Ant (the guy
who's name took me 10 years to figure out was a homonym for "adamant."
As in, "Dude, like, I'm soooo adamant when I sing, 'Baby, baby... where
did our love go? You don't need me... need me no 'mo...'").
I'm digressing badly, huh? Alrighty then - so, should I just send you
the lyrics to a song & see what ya think? Could be... interesting! (and
hopefully not bizarre) :)
Send them along. We could see what the Readership thinks of them.
Thinking back, I believe I wrote one from Mary's perspective (and yes,
yours was better, LOL), one from Joseph's perspective, and it's been so
many years, I'll have to look it up on some hard drive to find the rest.
"The rest" = Jesus's perspective?
What do you suppose the baby Jesus would have been thinking? I mean,
the God part of him, not the human baby parts. I'd be thinking,
"Things are going to be pretty boring in here for at least a few
years. Wish I'd indwelt a teenager, at least."
You know, that might not make a half bad Xmas song for Vince to sing.
But I do remember sitting on a beach the summer prior to that Christmas,
working my little tail off on the lyrics while the California sun
crisped me to a crackly crunch. So I think maybe one of them is pretty
good... hopefully... maybe... :)
You have a way with words, there, Pete. Let's see the song, how 'bout?
Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2008
From: Peter D.
Alrighty then, bratty, I mean Amy (teasing, totally) - I'll find that puppy. Those puppies I mean. :))
They give us new computers ever year or two at this consulting firm, so,
the lyrics aren't on this particular hard drive. I'm working up in San
Fran this week, at Levi's (home of... ummm... Levi's). But when I get
back to Phoenix this weekend, I'll pull them off my backup drive and
send them on.
Now that I've finally gotten up the courage to contact you about this... well, it'll be vulnerable, no bout-a-doubt it, but what the heck.
And here I was, thinking Ned Flanders was a fictional character.
Beats having them gather dust I suppose, huh?
I like the idea of Jesus' perspective. I really hadn't considered that.
I was sticking with the oh-so-human element, back then. But, honestly,
your idea is new! Hmmmm. It would be fun to work with that, wouldn't it?
I hope you have a great (rest of the) week! :))
I'm away from my computer for a while, and then I head for Texas, but when I get back
I'll expect to see those lyrics. And something from the perspective of the Infant Savior
would be great, too.
Till then,
Amy
;-)
From: Erin D.
Date: Sun, 20 Jan 2008
This is driving me mad, I heard this song but didn't hear the title, so when I typed the lyrics into google the only thing that came up was your site, so maybe you can help me?
What is the name of the song with the lines:
"They're faking all their morals on the mat It's an act, it's a fact You've got to be a hustler if you want to make a name Bein' good can only get you hurt "
My search could have been entirely wrong but its driving me insane and I need to know the name!
You managed to find this very page in your search, and didn't notice that this very page contains the answer—in red, yet?
(Google also yields this, and this, and this.)
I guess they don't teach Googling in school, like when I was a young googly mandible. . . .
Subject: from your dental friend
Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2007
From: Gina P.
Dear Amy, are you still out there?
You know, I never really thought of myself as "out there." Am. I. Out. There. Hrmm. I thought I was pretty mainstream, really. (Within the limits of my out-there-ness.)
Are your children's teeth still in a bad way?
No, I've been rubbing their choppers with Mr. Clean's Magic Erasers. And you know what? Those things *are* magic!
Plus, kids LOVE the taste!
I haven't written you in a long while. I'm the dentist that you said would be fun to party with. I don't party, but I love to laugh a tell great stories.
Tell me your best great story.
Can you imagine working in a persons mouth all day,what you would see and how people react to the news that they need a root canal. I think most would rather drink battery acid, than get a root canal.
You should introduce them to the wonders of oral health via household cleaning products. I'll bet you could have your own InfoMercial!
I still wish I could meet you, I would love to talk to you about your career and the wonderful music you have written. I've been listening to you since Fathers Eyes came out. What a life you have led. I wonder what you think about people who admire you and your music. Does it get annoying to deal with fans, or is it still flattering?
I never forget that my fans have made me the mandible I am. They keep me grounded and real, and not so "out there."
I mean, there are some fans who repeatedly write long emails with rambling biblebabble comprehensible only to the voices in their heads [finger points to messages below], but you know what they say—into every life a little clinical insanity must fall.
I wish someday I could help you with children's charity events. Most of my dentistry is with children, and I've done a few mission trips to help. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. My # is 268-6262. Maybe if you have time you can call.
I'm not sure I have time to try the number with every possible area code. Unless I make a song out of the touchtones. (Say. . . . that's not a bad idea. TRADEMARKED! TRADEMARKED!)
Actually . . . you know how Cher had one of her assistants dial the Mojave Phone Booth, instead of calling it herself? I'm kind of like that. I'm grounded and real, but I mean, c'mon, let's not be ridiculous—I'm still too fabulous for technology.
Amy
;)
Subject: your dental friend
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2007
From: Gina P.
Hi Amy, Thanks for writing me back. I am probably going to regret telling you this, ( one of my best stories ), because it's humiliating but funny. Funny for everyone but me. There was a time in my life when being gifted up top was great, but not after children. I swore that after I had my two boys I would have a reduction. ( In the chest area ) My husband decided to play a joke on me one day while I was at work. He called me and said that I needed to call Capt. Diece ( Dale was in the Air Force at the time ), and give him some insurance info. about my upcoming surgery. The phone conversation went something like this. The phone rings, a man answers and says this is Capt. Diece, can I help you? I said my name and that I needed to talk to him about my breast reduction surgery. The phone was silent on the other end, and I thought what is taking him so long to respond. He finally said, tell me more. I told him that I was calling about an insurance issue since the surgery would be done at the base hospital, and as usual I always say more than I need to. I told him the name of the surgeon, how tired I was of lugging these things around and how I wanted them to look normal again. He began to laugh ( which I expected ), but what I didn't expect was laughter in the background, and someone saying, Oh my Lord this is funny. My face began to feel hot from embarrassment, and I said who is that laughing in the background? He said, do you know who you are talking to? I said yes, Capt. Diece at Moody Air Force base. He said, not so, this is James at Capt. D's seafood restaurant. I screamed, and said why did you let me keep talking like I did? He said, because you just wouldn't shut up, and it was funny.
Since then my husband hasn't played as many jokes on me because he tells his friends, payback is hell.
Tell me what you think of the story,( and not that I'm lame )
Oh. My. Lord. I don't know quite how to respond to that. Well, if we were sitting around a Pioneer Girls campfire, I'd probably tell you this story that happened to a friend of mine who worked for an airline. When that airline acquired its first 757s, the flight attendants were making a training video highlighting the new features. One of them called down to aircraft maintenance where my friend worked:
"We need some Kotex up on gate 47!"
"Some what, now?"
"Some Kotex! Now!"
This was a guy named Eddie, a very excitable and imperious flight attendant with a vaguely foreign accent. It caught us off-guard, but it wasn't an unreasonable request—the airline stocked feminine products in the aircraft lavatories, and the flight attendants would need to know exactly where.
"So, um, how many do you need?"
"Two or three, it doesn't matter! Just get some Kotex up here right away!"
Eddie almost sounded as though he were about to have a little emergency himself, so we hurried over to the gate and burst onto the scene, waving the Kotex. The entire video crew broke into laughter. Eddie just about bust in two screaming.
"Not KOTEX! I said KOTEX! KO-TEX!!"
We stood, dumbfounded. "But Eddie, these ARE. . ."
"KO-TEX, I said! TEX! For COATS!"
Because of his accent, we had misunderstood Eddie. What he had asked for were identifying labels that were put on garments in First Class. Coat. Tags.
<;)
Amy
Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2007
From: John Brubaker <johnbrub@gmail.com>
Subject: April, 1 1999
On April, 1 1999 I warned you to shut down this site,
So you're wondering how I could possibly have failed to take seriously a message you sent . . . ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY?
it has been 8 and 1/2 years sense I have contacted you.
I remember your message (though I don't remember it having any "sense").
Perhaps this second message of yours would have had carried more weight if you'd sent it after some biblically symbolic period, such as 7 years, or "time, times, and half a time," or even 666 days.
But 8.5? That's not a biblical number, that's a Richter scale reading. Who the hell's afraid of earthquakes?
Besides, given that over 3,100 days have passed since your first warning, how important could it be? In light of 2 Peter 3—"One day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day"—that means it's been more than three thousand years since you last wrote me. Gosh, what have you been up to all this time? Not bothering to get your G.E.D., I think we can safely assume.
What say we give it another few thousand years and then you can get back to me with your third message? (Hint: 3 = biblically charged number)
Now let me teach you Revelation. Read what I wrote on april the 1st 1999 then go to chapter 5 of Revelation John wept and wept because there was no one in heaven on earth or under the earth to open the scrolls. Where was JESUS. He was on earth but his job was not finish yet. That is why it says no one knows the day nor the hour that the son shall come not the angels nor the son only the father. Go to chapter 12 that is the second birth. And her child was snatched up to GOD and his throne. All that means is there was a hedge put around him so satan could not kill him. Chapter 14 I looked and there before me was a white cloud and seated on the cloud was one like a son of man a crown of gold on his head and a sharp sickle in his hand and a angel tells him to swing his sickle. Now what is a angel telling Jesus what to do, I thought Jesus was in charge of the angels? In the old testament the son went by many names, Michael and others. So Lets say God the father wanted to change his name and he sends a angel to mary to call his son Jesus and when Jesus leaves the cross and goes to heaven the father says son I want that name. Now the father Is Jesus. Who rules in heaven? God the father rules in heaven not the son. Now the son does not have a name, He gets his name in Revelation. Once into the world for salvation, once into the world for judgement. in Deuteronomy it says I will raise up a Prophet likened unto myself, and I will put my words into to his mouth and any man that does not listen will given direct account onto me for it was me that was speaking and not he. Jesus said mosses wrote of me but you will not believe mosses how will you believe me. Now that verus gets used twice one in jesus day and once in Revelation. MOCKERS AND SCOFFERS SHALL NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
". . . FOR YEA AND VERILY, THEIR WAY SHALL BE BLOCKED BY THEM WHAT LACK ABILITY TO SPELL, OR CIPHER, OR UNDERSTAND SIMPLE HUMOR."
What??
Amy
:)
Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2007
From: John Brubaker <johnbrub@gmail.com>
Subject: NOW FOR YOUR AMUSMENT
God take's the foolish of this world and make's them to be the wise, and take's the wise like youself and you should know the rest.......! 8 stand's for the beginning....10 stand's for the wedding (Great catching away). 5 wise 5 foolish=10 Those who deserve love will get love, those who deserve mercy will get mercy, those who deserve compassion will get compassion, and those who deserve Judgement will be judged and get judgement. I have come for the harvest....NOT A FOLLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The church failed to do it's job. I will fill the churches to over flowing. Mosses did his job...but failed to get into the land of milk and honey. Samson failed to do his job. Jesus did his job, and I will do mine...........I think men are heartless, not all but most of them.........Women have heart's, but many have become like men with out a heart!!!!!!!!!! My thought's are not like your thought's........You asked where I have been for 8 1/2 year''s? I have been suffering for men and what they do......The lamb alway's take's the punishment for man kind...For GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD. Not the son so loved the world. You thought the FATHER was going to let this world go on as it is. HAHAHAHA. See I have a sense of humor toooooo.........I don't have to prove myself to know man. Or women. Jesus kept saying he could do nothing with out the father, and I am the same way, I can do nothing out the father. JOHN BRUBAKER
Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2007
From: John Brubaker <johnbrub@gmail.com>
Subject: Gary
Well I see gary went down, busted for pot, dui and losing all his money. Whose next Vince? Let's all just set back and watch!!!!!!!!John Brubaker
Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2007
From: John Brubaker <johnbrub@gmail.com>
Subject: post my letter's
I never loved a women in my life. GOD put that love in my heart for amy grant in 1993, he kept dragging me across the floor of my place, it took a half hour to wear me down. Then a hand came up through the floor and ripped my heart out my chest and it hurt so bad and I felt it being worked on and then it was stuffed back into my chest, when I rolled over I was madly in love with amy grant. Then I found out she was married, I about lost my mind, and then she said GOD was leading her in a new direction. In 1996 I knew she was going to marry vince gill, I started sending letters to her fan club, and putting amy only on them. In 1999 I was e-mailing her web site. It said I KNOW who you are amy belongs to GOD. They were saying I was satan HAHAHA the Jews called JESUS a false profit and nailed him to a cross. (they have not had anyone in 2000 years) You can call me satan, a false profit and a lunatic and a mad man if you wish, but when I step out the DOOR you will get the one that calls himself jesus. my names John.(Beloved of GOD). Like that song by pink floyd says. there will be no safety in numbers when the right one walks out the door. See I came out of the world, but I go by the bible. I'm a sinner, washed in the blood of the lamb, I make mistake's. but like everyone else I can be forgiven. ASK the devil I beat him to a pulp and I would do it again, just for the fun of it. HAHAHAHA. see I don't like him either!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well any way back to amy she said I have finally found true love. Meaning vince gill, and she has had a child by him. Let's say a person goes up to a rich women who has it all on this earth, and he has nothing on this earth. But he offers her a stone and tells her in the stone is a key to his heart, and it will be hers forever. She thinks he is a mad man and tells him to leave before she calls the police. So the time passed away and they both entered heaven, she finds out she turned down a prince of heaven. Now the moral of the story she has forever in heaven to think about it. You see I am not of this world but of the world to come. And the sons of GOD (ANGELS) looked down and saw that the women were beautiful and took them as their brides. Do you think GOD set there and created each angel, it says go forth and multiply. as it is in heaven so shall it be on earth and vice versa. Begotten means begat. Men made sex evil with their dirty little minds. Back to amy I hope she is happy with her life!!!!!!the stone will be offered to someone else. I feel sorry for amy. There shall be a new heaven and new earth. now you say people say the old earth will go on, nonsense. You don't put old wine into a new wine skin. Jack Van Impe keeps yelling that the old earth will go on. Why would you want to remember it. John Brubaker
Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2007
From: John Brubaker <johnbrub@gmail.com>
Subject: why are you not posting these?
The anti-christ is the son of satan. Uh oh does that mean that he is satan's spawn? satan has sex no way........lucifer was the most beautiful angel in all of heaven and then GOD created man in his own image. lucifer became jealous and got 1/3 of the angel's to back him. The rest sided with the Father. There was a migthty battle in heaven and a 1/3 of the stars or suns were cast down from the sky. Now the angels had to chose their sides. always a choice. Men have to make theirs to. David said and the Lord GOD spoke and it was there. He could have defeated them all if he wanted to. But he wanted them to make choice's who they were going to stand with GOD or lucifer. Jesus the lamb of god never sinned, he was born of the virgin birth, die for sinner's and opened the gate's of heaven. Now why couldn't the lamb come back as a sinner go through the molding process like everyone else do other JOBS get the harvest. The rest is to deep for your mind to comprehend!!!!!!!!! In Jesus day most men were humble, but now they are brash and arrogant. So in stead of saying who do you say that I am. You Just tell and walk on. If you had a son and you were going to bring him back where would you put him in Israel. NO WAY!!!! the Jew's called him a false profit and nailed him to a cross. Europe NO WAY!!!!! that is where the anti-christ is coming out of. The Untied States the greatest christian nation there has ever been. And they accepted the Jewish people with open arms. Am I Jewish don't know, I am mixed and my father was adopted. I am the last of seven children. He came to the hospital when I was two day's old with another women in arm's and told my mother I am leaving you with the seven kid's and take that bastard son with with you. He died in 1977 the year I went down, I tried to get his adoption records but they are sealed even after all these years, Solomon took the seed in to the gentiles which was forbidden. I went down in 1977 two things happened there was a great revival in Korea, and Iran started calling us the great satan. The Korean people treated me nice, where most Americans treated me like dirt. When I was a little boy I would cry to GOD it was not fair that I was not born Jewish, because they are his chosen people. When I was in high school a guy I knew used call me a German Jew. In the military a German SFC came up to me and said your Jewish aren't you. I said yes, I felt so bad after saying that, I wanted to be Jewish so bad. I have had to learn to think for my self, I do not think in groups. People do not like me. If you are of this world people will accept you, if you are not they will not accept you. If you come after me to get my job or to harm me, I likened my self to a tiger. I will climb up in a tree and wait for you to come by and pounce on you. Other words I will get your job before you get mine. When I start thinking I get wild, I think of every direction you can come and then some, and then I nail you to a cross!!!!!!! I always said I'm 99.99.99% Right. When you come after me I will tell you how I am going to get you. And then I show you my right hand like I am coming that way so your ready. Then I show you my left hand and you are looking over there and then before you can move I am all over you with the right and I got you the way I said I was going to do it. If all the Profits and disciples and Jesus were here on earth were would they be? They would be in a mental institution......or with your mentality a nut house. And they would have GOD under neath a microscope. When my time comes I am going to rip this world apart....and don't you call me a christian........that name was given by Paul.....so much evil has been done in name of Christianity..........You can say I am a born again sinner, washed in the blood of the lamb, and a servant of the most high Jesus...........You know the story of Jesus Christ.........maybe one day I will tell you the story of John Brubaker...........................Those who have their oil full and their wicks trimmed, and have been watching will get out. They are the wise. Bench warmers and those playing around in the world will not, those are the foolish. They have to go through the anti-christ to get in. All of my life and sin and short comings shall be revealed to the world to see. And I have failed a lot and sinned a lot, hey never said I was perfect. I had the devil pounding on me since I was a child no armor. crawling out of trap after pit fall after trap after pit fall. So I can look at my life and say I've done that. I can also say I was tempted with that and I did not do that. As far as Amy goes there is a small burning ember, like if you put a fire out with water and it is still smothering. I remember the first time I saw the sign of devil being flashed at concert's on TV. I thought what is that? So there was this guy down at work I knew he would know so I ask him. He said John that is the sign of the devil. I knew right then to leave it alone. Amy did not check it out before she did it, it looked cool and everyone was doing it. Christian's can be cruel they have been cruel to me to. I learned a word for them Hipochristians. Judge not less ye be Judged unless you are going to be the judger. And it also says you shall know them by there fruit's. Now the gloves she wore with six points, another stupid move..............And her posing with the two men in drag, my gosh how stupid......she is in the public eye.....you leave the likes of those alone...doesn't it teach you homosexual's shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.........Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed because of that.........I do not attend church, I give tithes, I like pop and mellow rock music, I do not listen to christian music. King of Pain by the Police reflects my life. The last album by Pink Floyd really reflects my life.(The Division Bell) sort of like one shall be taken and one shall be left. I am very meek, shy, and do not push my shelf on anyone. But at the same time I can come out of character and blow your mind, and you don't know if you are dealing with the father or me.......I smoke......if a man lives to be a 100 years old and he has smoked since he was 16. And when he dies he dies of natural causes not due any ting to the smoking did he defile the temple of GOD? NO!!!!!!!!!! Then let GOD be the judge of sin not man. Now if you are 35 and you start getting sick from them you had better quit. I remember gary chapman had a Christmas special and he said he baked the cookies him self. Amy liked to eat something before she sang, she ask gary for one he said no they are for the guest, if you are good you can have some when you get home. Steven curtis chapman came out and put him in his place. HAHAHA He couldn't give a cookie away. I would have offered her the whole tray. He mite be in the soup line's soon. You see GOD can put thoughts in men's mind's, they don't have to be christian. I often wondered if a song was written just for me when I needed it......like King of Pain........and there are many other's........You have the 10 commandment's and the few other's that GOD says not to do, after that it is between me and GOD. NOT you me and GOD. Those who miss out on heaven it will be their own fought not GOD'S..........If I could make it in, and over come all odds.....what excuse will they have...........GOD is fair true and just in all thing's..........It says and the book's shall be opened, that's your life.....everyone is a book, a story....every thought, every decision, every choice, everything. I don't want to see gary go to hell, but to watch him crumble is ok....maybe now it will make a man out of him......how many time's did Amy have to drag him home.....he thought the bible was his protection on divorce......Now if Amy hasn't blew it with the FATHER, let's see what's going to happen to vince gill. I don't hate vince, and I hope he makes it to heaven......sweet pea.......I can look into people's eye's and I know if there born again or not.....and I have several other gifts you never heard of.....Samson was strong he got that from heaven, that was one.............those who miss out on heaven do not know what they are missing out on....It is untold what the FATHER is going to do for those who love him................Jesus opened the gates with the blood that covers all sin.........John Brubaker
From: Dwight Stubblefield
Subject: Anne Stubblefield Cancer Outreach 501-C Non- Profit
Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007
AMY,
I saw you and Vince on the Oprah show today. I need to tell you about a great
need throughout Tn.and the nation that most people don't about. I didn't until
after the death of my wife Anne, and I asked her oncology nurse in Tullahoma, Tn.
what I could do to help cancer patients taking chemo. Iwill quote her. we have
patients comming here, so sick, can't eat, all they can keep down is Boost or
Ensure, and they don't have a dime to pay for it. If we had some here to hand to
them they will accept it. Start bringing us some. I did. Soon all 20 clinics
started asking for some. To make this short I have delivered over 38,000 bottles or
2,375 gallons. I need many times that much. Today I got a notice from the Community
Foundation of Middle, Tn. that I mhad gotten a grant. There is no overhead, so all
donations goes to a sick person that can't help themselves. Thanks, and GOD BLESS,
Dwight Stubblefield Tullahoma, Tn. 37388
From: jewels rowbottom
Subject: thank you
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2007
i just to thank you for helping me get through so really rough parts of my childhood especially for your song ask me from the album heart in motion it really helped me alot thank you
well i glad i put ask me on the album heart in motion cos i almost did a cover of whole lotta love instead you're welcome
amy ;)
From: Billy L.
Subject: Another mandible
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007
Hey Amy's mandible, looking great as always!
I wanted to point you in the direction of Tina Arena.
Now there's a mandible you can set your watch to! Extremely beautiful lower jawbone, wouldn't you agree?
Tina! Arena!
Banana-fana-fo-fina!
My jaw's keen-uh!
Ti-na!
Fee fi mo mean-ly,
Amy ;)
Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007
From: Anthony
Subject: Married to one of Gary's ex - girlfriends
Hi Amy, I married a young lady from Texas back in 1980 who was engaged at one time to Gary. She met him at Gary's Dad's church back in DeLeon, Tx. She has literally told me EVERYTHING about this guy. So I am behind you all the way on your decision to divorce him and get on with your life. And now that Gary has been arrested for DUI and drugs it makes it even more clear why you had to leave. His bankruptcy and separation from wife # 2 is in the news also. He is going to lose it all just because of his stupid self-centered ego and pride. This must break Terry's heart. You know he wanted better than this for his son. Best wishes, Anthony in Oklahoma. P.S. My favorite song is "Lead Me On"....( I watch the video over and over).
I don't know what on earth would make you think that Amy Grant wants to hear dirt about a man she once loved.
Shame on you!
Amy
:(
Date: Sun, 03 Jun 2007
From: cheeergurrlx3
Dear Amy,
                I really love your music. I think you are a great role model to a lot of people! My name is Amanda and im 13 yrs old! If I have a bad day I always listen to your song 'Every Heartbeat." It is an amazing song. When people ask me, "Who is your favortie artsit?" Instead of saying one of those famous "Kool" artsit I say, "Amy Grant." A lot of people dont know what Im talking about, but I sure do!!
Sincerely,
               Amanda
P.S
.
         My address is         Â
In case you can send me an autographed picture, which I would love!! I think ur soo awesome!!
Essay Question 1:
Which is preferable—cheerocracy or cheertatership?
Please be detailed in your answer, providing specific examples where applicable and use the letter  only where it supports your argument.
Cheerfully,
Amy
;)
From: Scott S.
Subject: Special request
Date: Fri, 24 Nov 2006
Dear Amy,
I have an unusual request. My name is Scott, a resident of Troy Michigan.
My wife has been a fan of yours and has spoken of you with me from time to time, especially about your wedding.
Recently our family has been going through very difficult financial times. As such, I have been limited in what experiences I have been able to afford to give to my wife and children. (5)
Recently, I decided I was going to play a game, to stimulate some thought on their part. I asked them the question. " If you could have lunch with any 3 people you admire, who would they be..NO LIMITS!" Among the people my family chose, were God, the pastors of our church, a local radio talk show host (Bob Dutko), yourself and deceased relatives.
I did not promise my wife or the children that I would make any of these meetings happen,(besides God, he walks with us always.) I have been working hard to make as many of the request happen as possible.
Some of them have not been difficult. 2 of the children (ages 10 and 14) chose leaders out of our church (Berean Baptist of Grand Blanc). My son (age 10) [Name deleted by Amy Grant's Mandible, who knows the poor kid will one day be embarrassed by the company he kept in his youth.] sat in on an hour broadcast at WMUZ in Detroit to see Bob Dutko broadcast.
I understand that you may get many odd requests from your audience, and it may or may not be desirable for you to give your time in this way. In any case, I am asking if you could make time to correspond with my wife by e-mail or phone. (since lunch would be a little difficult.)
Is this possible?
"NO LIMITS"—yet you have family members who shot their wish wad on local pastors? Holy cow, nothing like dreaming big. Good thing you didn't LIMIT them—they might have chosen lunch with you.
Mandible kisses to the wife,
Amy
;)
O=
From: Scott S.
Subject: RE: Special request
Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2006
They are the best Pastors, If you like, I can arrange for you to have lunch with them as well.
Many more blessings.
I believe I will pass on that. Pastors tend to be unkind and say mean things about a [erson, when all that person is trying to do is love her neighbor. How can a person help it if her neighbor was Vince Gill?
Mandibular wishes,
Amy
;)
From: Scott S.
Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2006
Well, perhaps that is why my children chose their Pastors! God knows
for a fact that I haven't lived a perfect life, or lived next door to
Vince Gill! They still accepted me and have taught the unadulterated
truth. Without hate. I call it Grace. On the other hand, they do like
spicy food, I don't know how that would sit with you;)
Yet again, to you, my pastors are not local.....(Now you must know that
I am laughing) Is that a big enough dream?...LOL
In any case I am just pleased that you did not live next door to Danny
DiVeto. Think about that for a minute. I am sure that would have been a
most excellent boost to your career.
Thank you once again, may your blessings be continually multiplied, and
never divided.
From: Tami S.
Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2006
Hi My name is Tami and my husband told me that he found a way to
communicate with Amy Grants publicist and that it was in a rather
humorous fashion. I was touched that he would try to find a way to make
one of my wishes come true as well as that of our children. You see, he
has been out of work for a couple of years and wanted to do something of
significance for his family. These lunch dates have proven to be
wonderful moments for our children. I have always appreciated Amys
music.While she went through changes in her private life with the public
unfortunately watching, I watched with respect as it appeared to me that
she was making decisions for herself. When I went through my own divorce
and remarriage, I thought of her. Obviosusly I do not know her at all. I
respected that she held her head high and did what she thought was best
for herself and her family. One day I wanted to tell her that. That is
really why she came to mind when my husband asked that question. I
thought if we ever met we might be able to encourage each other. In any
case, I pray that all is well for her. If her second marriage faced any
of the difficulties that ours has had, it might mean something to hear a
kind word from someone. God bless, Tami Schroeder
From: Bradley O.
Subject: drugs, sunbathing in the nude
Date: Sun, 19 Nov 2006
Amy,
Although this is a humorous site, and I'm asking a serious question, here it goes.
Is it true that you have had your share of smoking pot and other illicit drugs, sunbathed nude, etc. the way you have been quoted in magazines back in 1985?
Bradley
Bemidji, Minnesota
You are correct to recognize the humor, Bradley (and in this, you are ahead of a large percentage of people who write in to The Mandible).
But since I am only a Mandible, I cannot answer for what the rest of Amy's body does. All I can say is:
"Sir, I am unaware of any such activity or operation—nor would I be disposed to discuss such an operation if it did in fact exist, sir."
Jawohl and good day, sir
Amy
:)
From: richard
Subject: Carlee
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2006
Amy
First of all we wanted to wish you and your family a great holiday season from ours. We wanted to let you know that Carlee had her yearly check-up last week and everything went very well. We really miss Dr. Iaucone, he is a great man!! We watched the video from the three wishes program the other night, and I still can't believe we were able to be a part of that. Carlee remembered everything at the hospital, and the party and we went into the play room that we filmed the party in. Tristan is doing well also so we can continue to count our blessings from GOD everyday. We will always remember how great it was to spend the time with you, and I hope we can see you again in the future. I hope you get to read this, and may God continue to bless your family especially during the up-coming holiday season. Take care!!!
Sounds as though Amy neglected to give you the email address to the rest of her body, so you got stuck with just her Mandible. Well, as the old saying goes, the rest of Amy Grant's body's loss is Amy Grant's Mandible's gain!
P.S. Carlee got a letter from a lady in Europe the other day that had seem the episode and was touched. PRAISE GOD!!
I have to believe that a majority of the people who watched Three Wishes were touched. PRAISE BOB!!
Luv,
Amy
:)
Date: Fri, 13 Oct 2006
Subject: Laurence Gonzalez
Hi Amy
I'm hoping you can help me. I need to find a photo of Laurence Gonzalez and I believe his book Deep Survival is published by DOC. Either way, please let me know if it is possible for us to get a photo of him through DOC. I need to know immediately as this is going to layout on Monday.
Thanks so much for your help
______________________
Leslie
Associate Photo Editor
Fortune Magazine
1271 6th Avenue
New York, New York 10020
WOW, leslie. i am pretty much floored, here. let's review the facts:
1) you're trying to contact a religious singer...
2) ...by way of a website devoted to the religious singer's *jawbone*...
3) ...regarding a photograph of a completely unrelated author...
4) ...of a book that happens to be featured on a completely unrelated part of the website...
5) ...having assumed that that website must certainly have published the unrelated book in question.
that's pretty good. again i say: WOW. you must be the talk of the (Almost Six Impossible Things Before) Breakfast Club. all i can say, leslie, is:
you ROCK!
much, much luv,
amy
:)
I'm gathering this basically means you don't have a photo. Right?
thanks
you sure guess it-a quick, boss!
amy
:)
From: John H.
Subject: Need your help
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 2006
Dear Ms. Grant,
I tried to reach you throu the intertainment system regarding a song which I have invented and am interested in you interducing it to the public. It a song that came to me in the middle of the night ago while in the hospital. Thson is a short catchy tune and the music to it still is in my brain.
Please contact me using my E-Mail address and we caan discus how best way to get it before the public.
Please contact me soon.
Regards,
John
What is your song called? You wouldn't happen to be the composer of the amazing song, "Oh, Lord," would you? (If so, I am not sure my help is the kind you need.)
Amy
:)
From: Butterfly_Barb
Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2006
Subject: prayer has led me to you
Hello Mrs Gill (Grant),
I am Ms. Shaffer,a retired 75 yr old woman from a small town in
pennsylvania. I wont lie and say Ive known about you for many years,but
recently saw a show called 3 wishes,that my daughter taped some time ago
about a school football field wish coming true along with an adoption
and a small excercise pool for a disabled youg girl..this being the
reason my daughter taped it. If you can tolerate the lengthy ramblings
of pride and frustration from a concerned mother,I'd like to tell you
about her heartbreak and courage.
My daughter,"Jo" is a 42 yr old nurse who has always stuck by her
principles as I always taught her...however,it hasnt always proven me
right and I fear her losing faith..but cant say I would blame her at
this point,yet we still pray.
She has a love for animals unlike any other and many years back was
heartbroken when.after surviving a flood,but losing her home,her
pomeranian was poisoned with antifreeze by a cruel neighbor. She was
crushed,but opened her heart and rescued a beautiful siberian named
moogie..he was her life. She mothered him to 14 yrs of age and lost him
to blindness and renal failure due to diabetes. I thought her tears
would never end..he was her child,as she had lost 4 babies
(miscarriages) and is unable to have any. Suddenly,with every bone in
her body,she began involvement with a husky rescue and also stated one
here in our area. She rescued 15 to date out of her own pocket and small
donations thru collection containers,found them vet care and forever
homes..however,she adopted 3 herself. One found stabbed and tied,one
isolated,deprived and starved,another found beaten in a shale pit. The
latter one,Glacier(Glacey) who is so quiet and as sweet as they come,was
diagnosed with 2 ruptured vertabre. She has taken every spare penny and
repaid the vet who did the first surgery,but,as we feared,there was one
other disc that looked suspicious..we tried to save it,but as of this
past week,he has collapsed and she is carrying his little body up and
down steps outside and feeding him by hand..rolling pennies for his
medicine.
Normally,this wouldnt be such a hurdle..she would have the surgery done
and he'd recover for good finally..however,last year she went thru chemo
and recently went through another flood and while trying to rebuild a
roof,broke her left ankle. This girl is absolutely the poster child for
Murphys law..lol Her dream is to someday open a hydrotherapy business
for animals that have surgery and require it,as there is none within
hundreds of miles and may have proven a positive therapy in preventing
this other disc from slipping,but we'll never know,will we?
When I say she sticks to her principles,it's because,even tho she knew
it would mean loss of her position,she witnessed for the state against a
nursing home abusing patients and suddenly found herself "without
available shifts" She fought for uneployment and won,but still had to
fight long and hard for a new position elsewhere. She somehow managed to
care for these babies(her boys,as she calls them) and did without health
insurance,dental and medicine. As a result,her diabetes has taken its
toll on her teeth,along with her own disc problems,but she doesnt
complain,even though I see her limp and cry occasionally.
So,Amy..here I have a beautiful daughter who stays to herself,trying to
find any help she can to save this little husky requiring a $2,500
surgery to live before the pressure on the spinal cord paralyzes him,she
doesnt smile anymore or even date because of her dental problem and
Im watching her loose her dream and wish of a small business where she
can work with the one thing she loves,animals..instead of standing 12
hrs a day passing meds at a place that might not call on her again for
weeks at a time.
She even requests the night shift so she doesnt have to drive in the
heat,as she has no a/c in the old car she drives.
In my eyes,and maybe Im bias,I just hate to see such a
beautiful.intelligent,giving individual give up on life,especially when
one of the things she holds dear..Glacey can be saved by removing a
simple piece of broken bone. It breaks my heart to watch this,but I can
do nothing,as I am on a retired/fixed income. Im not asking for a hand
out. I just would like to see Jo get some help back since she has helped
so many herself..this includes her volunteering in 9/11..hurricane
Katrina and countless animal rescues....she has even brought me in to
care for after my stroke and helped me get back to semi-independant
living. If you,or any organization you know could extend a helping hand
or lead her to a group that can,I would be forever in your debt.
Ive prayed so many days for an answer and by mistake put that tape in
again today,so I acted on it. I have learned your show was cancelled
through reading email on your website and I am sorry it didnt last..it
should have.
I pray this finds you and your family in good health and happy and I
anticipate hearing back from you soon? Jo is fighting
the clock for Glaceys life.
God Bless
^j^ ^j^
^j^
^j^ ^j^
Ms. Barbara S
Pennsylvania
Re: your subject line ("prayer has led me to you") . . .
If prayer has led you here, then prayer has definitely led you astray.
But whoever led you to those ASCII angels deserves some sort of prize.
But wait—I count five: this wouldn't be Frank "Frankie Five Angels" Pentangeli, peeking from behind his witness protection program gender-reassigned cover identity of Mrs. Barbara S, would it?
'Cos if it is, I swear I had nothing to do with that truckload of pantsuits that went missing in Rahway, I don't care what Fredo blabbed around to everyone.
From: Jody P.
Subject: Dawn Patterson
Date: Wed, 17 May 2006
Dear: Amy
Hi I watch your show when it airs. I see the things you do for families and it is great. I have a family that is in great need of help. My husband ,our church, and I are trying to help this family. They have 5 kids and only have a 3 bedroom trailer. We are wanting to add more rooms so each child can have their own room. Only problem is we don't have the income to do all this. We have been praying for a way to help this family out. If you could please Help us make this families dreams come true. Also our Church is wanting to start a school and can't afford it please I am begging you to help us . I know you you have a great big heart filled with th Lord. As do we so please if there is so how you can help us let God lead you our way. We are from Mississippi. Thank you and may God Bless you.
Dear Jody P.,
Thank you for watching my show when it airs. Which, since it has been canceled, is never.
But never fear—entertainment is still to be had.
Amy
: )
Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006
From: M.C. Jojo Smith
Subject: Hey JAWBONE!!!!
Hello Mrs. Grant,
I was wondering if your such a great singer could you:::::
Sing while not moving your mandible. That is keep your mandible stationary and open your mouth by rocking your head back and forth.
You can practice by resting your chin on a coffee table. If you can do this I'll send ridby $7.00. If he's not dead from the plague.
Do you like Praise Music???? I like the subgenre of Praise, its called Christian Rap. There is some oily guy named Carmen. He raps about god. He's good you should do a duet with him, I'm sure he'd split the money with you. My cellmate says christian rappers are soft, but man I prayed about it, and the spirit told me Jesus likes Christian praise rap. He spiritually made me feel the the streets of Jericho were rough and tough too. He also said that the Book of Mormon was wrong because if the Indians (Not Ridby) were really Jews then how come the got ripped off on the Manhattan Island sale???????
Makes you think......
Hey, you should give Christian Rap while immobilizing your mandible, a try.
Best Wishes
M.C. Jojo Smith
Dear Mr. M.C.
I met a cat called that once. It stood for Motel Cat.
Regarding singing without moving my mandible: apparently, you are laboring under a confusion. I am married to Vince Gill, not Edgar Bergen.
But regarding praise music and xtian rap, you will find some warm and uplifting selections freshly uploaded at Deuce of Clubs:
(Also: We Mandibles prefer that term, rather than "Hey, JAWBONE!!!!")
Demo-liciously yours,
Amy
: )
Date: Thu, 8 Dec 2005
From: rigy jacob
Subject: Request for a favour
RIGY JACOB,
VARAMBATH (H),
IRINGOLE P O,
PERUMBAVOOR
S INDIA 683 548.
TEL. +91 98477 30278
Dear Ms. Amy Grant
At the outset, let me introduce myself. My name is Rigy Jacob, I am living in a small town of South Indian state Kerala. I'm working in a small software marketing company in the Cochin City. I live with my parents and wife.
I,m sending this E mail to you for asking a small help. My Father was a State Govt. Officer and Mother was a head Nurse, We had an average finiancial background. My parents spent a lot to get my elder sister educated anfor her marriage etc(aprox:10lakhs). Now she is a Nurse Practitioner settled in the U S in Chicago. My parents expectations were to get some help from her but she did little. She's been there for 4 years and her husband is a US citizen.
Recently, due to our financial crisis, we had to sell our 25 lakhs' property for the half price. Now we are toiling hard to get resettled. Since we are not in the below poverty line in the Govt. records we wont get any kind of help from the Govt. Even though my wife is a graduate nurse, I must have a great sum to get her employed in any developed country. Since we are ashamed to stretch our hands to our nationalities, I was thinking of asking of a small financial help from any forigen personals or societies. I think you are the right person to ask for some help.
So let me take this oppertunity to beg you a small finiancial help of 7-8 Thousands of US $ only. I would be much grateful to you if you could help me in this matter. Once again I humbly beg you to be kind enough to help me. I believe, you will never deny my request. If this mail troubled you, I regret deeply and beg your appology.
Regards to You and Family.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
Rigy Jacob.
Rigy, yours being such a well thought-out request, it merits its own response page, Wishful Mandible.
Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2005
From: Jean
Subject: Amy, singer and genie, but not in a bottle, but maybe a shot before she goes on stage
Hi, Jean from Petaluma here. Here in Petaluma for the next 14 hours anyway. I saw on your website a mandible update and it reminded me of Amy's future venture. (I also just saw you already know about the venture but damnit I already wrote the email and want to do something to put off packing for trip. I'm a little sorry, I guess. Maybe.)
I've been seeing on my friend the TV promos for a new show starring the mandible. The show will air on Fridays at 8 or 9 p.m. depending where you live, on NBC sometime in September. The show is called "Three Wishes". Amy and crew go around the country Granting wishes to people.
They must have hired one of those punning newspaper headline writers to come up with the concept.
I thought I was pretty clever thinking of "Granting" wishes until I looked up the show on the internet and every other dog is saying the same thing, or Amy will "Grant" a wish.
It's a plague of punning newspaper headline writers. Also, the sky is falling. I'm not sure which is worse.
I plan to make some popcorn for the first show so my mandible will be moving for the heartwarming hour. Why I feel this is necessary, I don't know.
In 14 hours I leave Petaluma and travel to the United States to a town called Las Vegas. I most definately like to stay in my country, but every once in awhile like to see other cultures. Have to be back to my people on Wednesday, so short trip.
Everybody wins big in Vegas, according to your friend the TV. How'd you do?
Anyway, wanted to tell you about the show you already know about. Wonder if Amy Grant fans might have pre show parties. Playing her music, drinking the stuff they call in church "The Blood of Christ" and whatnot.
You mean Welch's grape juice? Probably not. Welch's grape juice is a liquid sacred to Babdists. I used to get yelled at for going after the last drop of Welch's in the communion cup with the tip of my tongue.
[Prizes and other consideration for these product mentions provided by Welch's, Inc. or whoever the hell owns the trademark these days.]
From: Anaisabine
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005
Subject: Fwd: Amy Grant Ringtones & Images Now Available on Beliefnet Mobile
i thought you'd find this fascinating:
From: Beliefnet Mobile
Subject: Amy Grant Ringtones & Images Now Available on Beliefnet Mobile
Date: 04 Aug 2005
To VIEW this email as a web page, click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your
browser's address window: http://www.beliefnet.com/nl/partner/dwango/050803AG.html
Wow. That's some tempting spam, there, except I'm not sure whether it's a good idea to "spiritualize your mobile phone." Personally, I have a hard enough time finding where I left my mobile phone as it is, and it's fully visible. I talked to my agent about this, and here's the improved Amy Grant spam we came up with:
From: Edward Chong
Subject: "Nashville: Hills of Harmony", a book you wrote.
Date: Tue, 7 Jun 2005
Dear Amy:
I am not sure this message will ever reach you, but I am trying to contact
you because of the book you wrote in 2002, "Nashville: Hills of Harmony".
If you're looking for a refund, how about you buttonhole the ghostwriter? That's what I did when I read the thing.
I recently purchased a warehouse of a publishing company in San Diego,
Heritage Media Group which went out of business a couple months ago. Since
Heritage bought Towery Publications around 2003, the warehouse was full of
books and your book was one of the many titles I found.
Listen, if my ghostwriter had to reimburse people for the warehouses full of his unsold crappy books, he'd have to write more crappy unsold books for the next five hundred years just to get the money. Which he wouldn't, 'cos: *unsold*. So you see his dilemma. Or I guess, rather, yours.
In short, I have 10 boxes (10 copies per box) of brand new book of yours; I think you friends would be more than happy to own a piece of your book, your work.
You really don't know "me" friends, do you.
Inside of the books are many great pictures and a touch of Nashville's history.
I know, I know. I said I didn't write the thing. I didn't say I never read it.
(Well, skimmed through it, anyway. Why do you think busy celebrities have their books ghostwritten, after all?)
"Hills of Harmony" can not be found anywhere nowadays, except these last 100 copies.
I congratulate you on cornering the lucrative Nashville: Hills of Harmony market! You'll soon be rich. How about a loan?
(By the way, you should notify Hamilton's (a publisher's closeout book company) know that you have the market cornered on these books. They seem to have plenty of copies—and at only $4.95 a pop.)
Do you know anyone who is looking for these books?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHAAA
Weeeeeoooo. Dayum.
Please let me know. Thanks.
Here's my best offer: your 100 "Amy Grant" books for, let's say, 500 Amy Grant ringtones.
Believe me, you won't get a better offer. And at least they're actually by me.
Kind Regards,
Edward chong
Ohhhhhhhhh. I get it now. Chong! You're TOTALLY HIGH! Aren't you!
My best to Cheech,
Amy
:)
From: Edward Chong
Subject: Re: "Nashville: Hills of Harmony", a book you wrote.
Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005
Amy, You SUCK!!!!!!
Nuh-uh! That's illegal in Tennessee! Those tabloids LIE!
All books are sold. You don't want to help that's fine, but you Mother fu...
I don't know Mother fu... but I know Kung fu...
Also I know David Carradine.
go to helllllll.
Now, Edward, I know you don't mean that.
What you mean is hell.
(There's only one L in it. Otherwise it would be 777777734. What sense would that make? Plus, some of your cheaper calculators wouldn't even be able to display it. Where would be the joke in 77777773?)
Have a beautiful day. Also: take whatever money you made on my books and go rent a sense of humor. Or buy some ring tones!
Just kidding!
Amy
:)
From: Edward Chong
Subject: Re: "Nashville: Hills of Harmony", a book you wrote.
Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005
The way you write, I can tell that you are not the real Amy.
Right under the buzzer!
You are just some COLD BLOOD "creature" who excess to the mail box.
Brrrrr! That's me, cold excess all over.
Have a real life, see ya.
See ya, wouldn't wanna be [a book buyer from] ya!
Mandibular "wishes"!
Amy
:)
From: Gina P.
Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2005
Subject: I am a dentist,let's talk mandible.
Dear Amy:
I work with Dr. K who says he is your neighbor. He kids me at work all of the time and I'm not sure if I believe him. I moved to Nashville a year ago with my two boys, and was happy to hear that you lived here. Will you please tell me if it is true that you are his neighbor.
I'll consider him my "neighbor" as soon as he brings back my dadblame leaf blower. Yeah, he thinks I don't remember who took it but I do. And guess what? I sneak into his office every day on my way home from the recording studio and snag at least one magazine, sometimes two. He wants back his vintage issues of The Modern Priscilla, he knows what he has to do.
In case he doesn't, you can tell him for me. GIVE ME BACK MY LEAF BLOWER YOU MOOCHING MOTHERLESS DENTIST!!!
I have most of your albums,
YOU have my albums? GIVE ME BACK MY DAGNAB ALBUMS!!!
and have been listening to your music since Father's Eyes. There were times during a rough marriage that your music ministered to my weary soul. Thanks for all the great music.
Wait, there's more: Now, available for the first time on Beliefnet Mobile, Amy Grant ringtones and images to spiritualize your mobile phone!
Beliefnet: Get Totally Tangled Up In It!
My boys and I would love to meet you sometime. For nearly twenty years your life has been sung through your music, and I think that is brave to tell of your hearts struggles.
Wow, did my mitral valve prolapse make it into the tabloids already?
As difficult as it was to write the songs for behind the eyes, I'm so glad they were put down to words and music, because so much healing has come to me through the words of those songs. Maybe if I'm over at Dr. K's for a get together, he can introduce us.
Maybe. But the garage door stays locked to the five-fingering likes of you two. I'm serious.
Amy
:)
P.S. If you want 100 copies of my book Nashville: Hills of Harmony, I can totally hook you up.
From: Gina P.
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005
Subject: Re: I am a dentist,let's talk mandible.
Dear Amy:
This website is obviously not hers (Amy).
Apparently not obvious enough to prevent a person holding a medical degree and therefore, one would have expected, some degree also of intelligence and common sense, from trying to play Six Degrees of Amy Grant with it.
(Hrmm . . . I wonder whether the Six Degrees game allows fractional degrees? If so, does the leap from Amy Grant to Amy Grant's Mandible have to count as a full degree?)
However, I can't resist taking a stab at your so called sarcasm. Who are you anyway? What kind of sick twisted warp, takes letters from people who mean well, and make fun of them.
The sort that applauds your use of warp. Brava!
My name is Amy . . . and I am a warp.
If this is in fact you and not some jealous ex-fan who needs to feel better about herself by criticizing others,
Holy cow. If nothing else, I admire your ability to create a whole back story out of nothing. Brava, redux! (I'll bet you give one hell of a Flannelgraph[TM] presentation in Sunday School!)
especially Mrs. Grant, I feel sorry for you and your stupid website. Your responses are not funny, even if this was a fake website. Give up and find a day job.
(Most of my concerts are at night, but point taken.)
Better yet, enroll in the nearest clown school, because at least they can make you look funny.
Gina, Gina. I sense with my sensitivity and deep sensing of the feelings of the less intellectually fortunate that you are miffed with the Mandible. But is that sensible? "Come," as a certain ancient visionary madcap wrote, "let us reason together." I submit that the cause of your anger is that you, unable to rise above a mindlessly celebrity-enamored culture, tried to slake your desire for an undeserved brush with A Famous Person by dashing off a fangirl email to a website dedicated to that person's jawbone. Let that as a tempering influence sink deep into your snooty umbrage.
Bite me,
Gina
I'd have thought that a dentist would recognize "Bite me" as a dangerous invitation. Especially to a Mandible.
Luv & huggums,
Amy
(of
Amy Grant's Mandible Website Ventures Ltd.
Remember:
Four out of five dentists who recognize parody websites when they see them, laugh open-mouthed at the fifth, who didn't.)
Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005
From: Gina P.
Subject: Re: I am a dentist,let's talk mandible.
You are a real piece of work Amy.
I've had bridgework! I'm the Mandible.
I am quite famous in my own right, but maybe not what you in your celebrity head would consider famous.
Famous, eh? Truly? 'Cos I, as you know, am famously grande-Mandibled. What are you famously?
You are a self righteous person,
I've been told that I'm a righteous dood. Is that the same thing?
and notice I said maybe we could be introduced sometime. You would be the lucky one to know me.
Gina
No, you would be the lucky one—to work on my teeth, that is. (Or teef, as we say here in Nashv'll.). But if you did, you should charge me half price for being twice as easy to dentistize, because of all the elbow room in my Mandible. I realize that you, as a dentist, see an endless procession of mandibles. But I am telling you. It's big.
So you are a dentist. And we're talking Mandibles. You got your wish. See how this ties in with my new NBC television program, Three Wishes (except that you get only one)?
Luv,
Amy
;]
(Check out the big Mandible on that emoticon!)
Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005
From: Gina P.
Subject: Re: I am a dentist,let's talk mandible.
Dear Amy,
I will work on your teeth any time. As a matter of fact, Dr.Snodgrass ask Dr. King the other day why you didn't bring your kids to our office.
Well, the reason's a little embarrassing. You see, recently we decided there was no good reason to put off the inevitable, so as a family activity one weekend we went out back to the shed, where the kids all got their l'il teefees busted clean out of their heads. We're going to have falsies installed in their mouths once the little scamps stop growing, which should be any time now, with their new all-liquid diet. (And also stop bleeding, one of them.) I'm sure that you, as an Appalachian dentist, completely understand this difficult and personal decision we were forced to make. It'll save ever so much grief during the difficult years, and it's bound to have benefits for the children, too. And after all, we figured, weren't ivory teef good enough for the Father of our Nation What's Now at War & So On?
Say . . . your office wouldn't happen to sell any second-hand children's dentures, would it?
Dr. King said because I don't want her to see how crazy this place is.
Oh, that Dr. King. You give him a good smack across the choppers for me, won't ya, & tell him how totally nutty I think he is, y'hear? Wotta buncha madcaps y'all are over there to Cool Springs, my, my!
On a more serious note, how did you get this web site started?
gina
Asking about the origins of a website devoted to a singer's jawbone is your idea of a serious note? Land o' Goshen, I can't imagine the kind of stunts you must pull when you're trying to be absurd! But it makes me wanna PARTY with you, dentist!
Amy
;)
Date: 01 Sep 2005
From: Gina P.
Subject: Re: I am a dentist,let's talk mandible.
Dear Amy,
I'm sorry to hear the tragic story of your children's teeth, and to tell you the even more tragic news of the total recall of childrens dentures. Kids don't mind going around without their teeth. I have found kids to be quite resilient. How many children do you have? I had always wanted a large family, but could only have two. My ovaries decided to turn against me, forcing me to have them removed. Now adoption is an option. Thanks for the one wish by the way.
If I really had one it would be to set up a childrens dental clinic in the more remote areas of Nashville, where the kids have Tenn-Care coverage and there aren't enough dentist's who accept that program. I might get to do it someday. Hey, sorry I called you self righteous, because you probably aren't. I'm going to go to the Titans game tonight and sit in the channel 4 sky box. This will be my first Titans game, I'm sort of excited to go. Good Luck on your show, and I'm going to try and watch, between soccer, baseball, PTA, dinner, feeding farm animals,cleaning house, and so it goes.
gina
[Followup, 2.5 years later]
From: Andrea
Subject: HI AMY
Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2005
Dear Amy,
I know you get lots of emails( and I just read a lot of them) but just wanted to say hi. By the way, you are my fave singer ever. I am 11 and just LOVE your songs. Especially your latest cd, Greatest Hits 2004.
Hey, could you send me the lyrics to "You're the kind" on your new cd, the 2004? Thankx!
Lu ur greatist fan, Andrea(SerferGirl)
I believe you mean "Lucky One." Here you go:
You're the kind When you love you love with all your might and You're the kind I would dream about at night Now I'm the lucky one Baby I'm the lucky one You're the kind That I want to be with in the dark and You're the kind who is capturing my heart And I'm the lucky one Baby I'm the lucky one And I have never been the one to fall in love so soon But I could never face another night or day without you Baby I'm the lucky one You're the kind With poetry and valentines and You're the kind Who will never ever leave And I'm the lucky one The luckiest girl Baby I'm the lucky one And I have never been the one to fall in love so soon But I could never face another night or day without you I'm the lucky one Baby I'm the lucky one...
Subject: send me your mandable
Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2005
From: Jason C.
I wrote a song and, if you're not too busy, I'd love to hear you sing it. If you are too busy to come, just send your mandable. It may not be able to sing, being without lungs and a voice box and such,
au contraire (see The Brain That Wouldn't Die, They Saved Hitler's Brain, Re-Animator, et al.)
but I could probably rigg something up by reversing the vacuum's air flow and maybe a fan. It may not work for singing, but the mandable sounds funny. We'll have a few laughs. Please wrap it in plastic, though. Disembodied mandables can leave such a mess.
disembodiment? wrapped in plastic? i'm not sure i like where all this twin peaks talk is leading.
(also: *mandible*. having made it famous, i like to see it spelled correctly. Bless me, what *do* they teach them at these schools?)
amy
:)
From: Justin C.
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004
Subject: Hi Amy
Hi Amy i think you have the prettiest voice ever and i was wondering if you made trips to churches to sing but before i ask anymore what religion are you
i'm zoroastrian. i just sing all those songs about jesus to confuse people. we zoroastrians are all about confusing the people, don't you know.
also sprach zarathustra! see? that was confusing, wasn't it.
well how much do you charge to come to a church to sing and when will you be available if you make trips to churches to sing please reply to my email i will greatly appreciate it thank you so much
i require a love-offering of $12,947 per appearance.
(i like a lot of love.)
luv,
amy
:)
From: Bradley O.
Subject: Greatest Hits 1986-2004
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2004
Amy, thanks for putting out this excellent compilation of your hits from 1986-present and the bonus disc is a nice treat for us fans. As a matter of fact, it is so nice to me that I can play my favorite 7" mix of "Every Heartbeat" without having to dig out the 45 although I am a fan of vinyl. If I find Heart In Motion on vinyl someday, I'll pick it up although I have the CD. The Greatest Videos DVD is also a great disc that I do recommend fans to buy. I did have a nice Thanksgiving and then I wish everyone on this website a Merry Christmas and pull out your Christmas CDs of Amy's music. If you ever get the opportunity to cover a Gordon Lightfoot song and/or a John Denver song, please do so as you'd do a great job doing it. In the case of Lightfoot, I can automatically picture you doing practically anything of his in my head, especially "If You Could Read My Mind." In the case of John Denver, I can automatically picture you doing either "Rocky Mountain High," "Annie's Song," "Back Home Again," "Leaving On a Jet Plane," "Some Days Are Diamonds," "Fly Away" with Vince, "Shanghai Breezes," or "Take Me Home, Country Roads" in my head beautifully. I can't picture you doing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," "Grandma's Feather Bed," or stuff like that though. "The "Soundstage" appearance with Peter Cetera you did was great and it looked like you had fun doing that show. I agree with your comments that the video for "The Next Time I Fall" with Peter is very much dated in today's perspective, but during the perspective of the time it came out, it was a great video. Although there are 2 videos for "Good For Me," you or a compiler at Universal, definitely picked the right one as that is the video I remember watching on VH1 and TNN when it came out.
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004
From: Emily
Subject: Hugh Amy Grant fan
Dear Amy,
I'm a hugh fan!
he's pretty cool, but that "playboy mansion" of his is totally overrated.
I luv all your songs. and I think that you and Vince Gill make such a cute couple. Do you know when the next time you and him will do a duet??
honey, we "DUet" almost every night. sometimes twice.
That lady that called you a slut is soooo not a christian.
yeah, probably not. that's way too hard a word for most of them to know.
I'm an alter server and I'm 14 years old.
that seems a little young to be chasing people around and handing them court documents.
Amy, you are not a slut.
that is sooooo sweet of you to say.
will you write my fair-weather fans and tell them that for me?
and I hope that you continue to make beautiful music.
either that, or i'll try & start.
Luv your biggest fan,
Emily
keep on something or other,
amy
:)
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004
Subject: Google lead me here and I just couldn't find my way out!
From: Kim M.
I was doing some research on a Rich Muillins song this morning, Hold Me Jesus.
in football, holding is a personal foul. luckily, football is dumb.
I found out that Amy Grant performed the song on a tribute album I think in '98, a year after Rich died. Anyway, my research on Google lead me to this crazy web site and I just couldn't find my way out.
the preterite form of *lead* is *led*. perhaps this hampered your egress.
You folks have totally lost your minds. While I agree that Amy does have a nice mandible I do feel that she is just another simple human begin trying to find her way through life. Somehow we have placed her on a some kind of pedestal expecting her to be perfect.
amy grant is not perfect. (neither is your grammar, by the way.) but amy grant's mandible? ah, *that* is purrrrrrrrrrrrfect.
There was only one perfect soul...Jesus. While we are asked to imitate His likeness, we will never be able to obtain His purity.
(*attain*, i think you mean.)
We shouldn't expect Amy Grant or any other performer or simple person to do so perfect.
"to do so" ... ?
I do hope that Amy Grant never makes her way to this site unless it becomes a little more positive. She's taken her lumps. Let her be.
thank you for speaking on behalf of amy grant (something we here know a little bit about).
how do you know that Amy Grant isn't secretly happy that someone out there is answering the fundamentalcases who write in to condemn her?
We never know who we might be entertaining...
[Here she actually quotes the lyrics of that stupid Joan Osborne song in their entirety]
good point. for example, you might be entertaining ... JOAN OSBORNE'S LAWYER, RAWR, CHOMP, PAY UP
on second thought, no. it is not remotely possible that you might be entertaining.
and thanks for getting that stupid song stuck in my head...
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
... and thank you joan osborne for that horrible assonance.
luv,
amy
:)
Date: Wed, 21 Apr 2004
Subject: Please forgive us, Amy!
From: Laura H.
Amy,
I have read some of these e-mails that a few self-proclaimed "Christians" have written to you; please accept my sincerest apologies for these "Christians" who are judgmental, pious, and holier-than-thou people for they truly do not follow the teachings of Christ. These are the people who give Christianity a bad rap. Gee, I'd hate to see how they would judge me.
If we needed an accountant, teacher, builder, etc.... God would have sent one. We needed a Savior, and God sent us Jesus to stand in the gap and pay for our sins. Even those who walked beside Christ, breathed the same air, witnessed His miracles, and heard His teachings sinned and turned their back on Him (look at Peter!)
In essence, I am saying that we are ALL sinners and sin is sin is sin is sin..... Can these "Christians" truly say that they have never told a "lie" to another; can they say that they have always "respected their mother and father"; have they always kept God first and foremost in their lives above people, places and things? If not, well they've broken three of God's ten commandments right there.
God knows your heart, Amy! What has/has not happened is between you and Him. I will always be a devoted fan of yours, and I am grateful that God uses you to minister to us.
Love,
Laura Hoffman
Spoken like someone who reads the Bible, rather than just thumps on it.
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004
From: Betty R.
Subject: IMPORTANT E-MAIL
To whom it may concern:
I realize you get tons of e-mails, but this e-mail IS
A VERY SINCERE E-MAIL ASKING FOR HELP.
I have written a song a week or so ago and I KNOW this
song is a hit. (Everyone to whom I've song this song
to, was very moved and thought it was beautiful.) I
am a Christian, but the song can be song for an easy
listening radio station as well as a Christian radio
station. The song is titled, "She's A Lady Now." It
was written especially for 15 year old Hispanic girls
or Sweet 16 Causcasian (or any other race) girls who
have just crossed the line from childhood into
womanhood.
I would be happy to sing it to you if you
feel it would help.
Yes, I am a singer. I am not famous or anthing. I
think this song has a better chance of being promoted
by someone who is famous. Please call me at
619-200-63[xx]. We can talk about setting up some kind
of contract and all that good stuff.
I wish I knew of another way to get ahold of Amy
Grant. PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE.
Sincerely,
Betty A. R.
San Diego, CA
you sound like a DYNAMIC person. do you have a picture?
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004
From: Betty R.
Subject: IMPORTANT E-MAIL
Why would you want a picture of me?
Because I'm shallow. Faces are important! For example, do you think people would have made Amy Grant a huge star without her Mandible?
Now I am becoming skeptical. Is this a legitimate e-mail for contacting
Amy Grant? I'm interested in promoting this song.
It's an awesome melody.
I KNOW Amy would like this song. I just know it.
> The song is titled, "She's A Lady Now."
i do like that Tom Jones song "She's A Lady."
or maybe i'm thinking of sue wilkinson's great hit of 1980:
I remember Sally from number four
She always had boys queueing up at her door
She wasn't so good looking, but she seemed to have such fun
While I had none, I asked my Mum, "How come?"
Mother said Sally was loose and cheap
And girls like that ended up on the street
Not like me, I was good, you see
Now I saw Sally in the deli today
She's a lady now in every way
So darn rich, people tell me she's a witch
With lovers by the score, do I have to tell you more
Oh, you've got to be a hustler if you want to get on
Principles can only hold you back
The only women makin' it are women who are shakin' it
They're faking all their morals on the mat
It's an act, it's a fact
You've got to be a hustler if you want to make a name
Bein' good can only get you hurt
Chastity and virtue never brought a woman fame
And men will always crave a cunning flirt
When you read the newspapers every day
There's always some hussy that's having her way
By dating someone famous, she makes herself a name
And no one blames her, I guess we'd all do the same
But then they get married and before you know
She wants divorce and half of his dough
Gets herself a lawyer who's a really shrewd guy
And get's the judge's sympathy by crying and crying
Well, the next time it happens as she starts to write
Of her schemes through the days and her men through the nights
And even though it's tasteless, the book sells coast to coast
On all the chat shows, you can see her boast
And now they're makin' a film of the book
And no one gives a damn that the girl was a "Huh"
They've got posters obscene, now she's mixin with the cream
No one even cares what she's done or where she's been
...Yes, you've got to be a hustler if you want to get on
> It was written especially for 15 year old Hispanic girls
or Sweet 16 Causcasian (or any other race) girls who
have just crossed the line from childhood into
womanhood.
(didn't jerry lee lewis get in trouble for crossing that line?)
< We can talk about setting up some
kind of contract and all that good stuff.
what sort of terms were you looking for?
> =====
Jesus Loves You! Please read in your New Testabment Bible Acts 2:38
p.s.—"stabment?"
From: Sam C.
Subject: daring and brilliant!
Date: Wed, 14 Jan 2004
Hello —
Let me start by saying I am actually listening to Amy Grant as I type this. I have loved her since I was in, oh...the 6th grade or so. Somewhere along the line, I began to hold her up to "diva" status in my mind. And I NEVER doubted that she deserved that status.
Let's forgive her for that ugly "Baby Baby" phase...we're all enticed by money, aren't we? The greatest thing that ensued from it is that more people finally knew who she was. And who she was, and who she is, is an amazing, talented woman. I don't claim to know her personally, nor do I necessarily care to...
I finally had the opportunity to meet Amy, thanks to winning a radio contest in San Francisco back in 1997. I knew that this meeting would settle my decision, once and for all. I approached her and began a conversation that actually lasted for quite a while. I had a lengthy conversation with her about the guy I was in love with...and yes, I'm a boy too...
Let's just say that the love I got from her was unparalleled and incomparable.
She signed two autographs for me...one for me, and one for my boy. Enough said.
Sam
p.s. Even as a gay guy, I realize that the mandible is absolutely perfect...
clearly, Mandibular Admiration knows no boundaries.
From: JOHN WHEELER
Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2004
Dear Mandible:
Have you ever bitten the head off of a bat a rodent or possibly a small barnyard animal?
no. ozzy offered me half a bat head once, but i had already eaten two boxes of popcorn chicken that night, so i felt there had been enough carnage.
I didn't think so.
but even worse you bit the head off your husband and sucked out his heart.
hrmm. strange, then, that he managed to remarry.
Ok I got that out of my system, you shared your lips with another man, well vince
what makes you think vince & i share lips? we don't believe in kissing. kissing is gross. plus, i might strain my mandible. then where would i be? i might stop receiving emails from kind, loving folks such as yourself.
and now you want to come crawling
back to Christian music. Well I know God will forgive you. But you should not be selling music in his
name.
did god tell you to tell me that?
(you might ask god to dictate the next time there's a message for you to deliver—you seem to be having difficulty with punctuation.)
and also Mandible button up your blouse.
Wheel
whee!
why are you looking at my chest, john wheeler? is that any place for one of the finest American theoretical physicists to be looking for answers?
besides, i have a perfectly *lovely* mandible for you to stare at.
luv,
amy
:)
From: Julie
Date: Sat, 11 Oct 2003
Subject: heee-larious
Your website is hilarious!
Loved the story about the Cherry Clan.
You should post a link to your site on her newsgroup: rec.music.artists.amy-grant.
They live for this stuff over there.
Peace,
Julie
Modesty forbids. The fame of The Mandible speaks without speaking.
No, that doesn't make sense.
But it speaks without posting. That's it.
Amy
:)
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003
From: Amy M.
Subject: Amy Grant As Wholesome Homewrecker
I must congratulate you on your perceptiveness of the Mandible.
Hard not to perceive my mandible. It's right under my nose, after all.
I am not alone in my love of hating her. After all, underneath all the sickening goodness, lies the heart of a homewrecking slut. She may seem happy now, but she has some things to answer for. Vince Gill's wife was devastated when he left her for the Mandible. I hope she gets punched really hard in the Mandible someday. That would be hilarious!!!!!!!!
You have quite a sense of humor, there, Amy Lynn. Would you by chance be, Amy Lynn, a professional wrestler?
And worse yet, she shares my beautiful name. But my beauty far outshines hers. FACE IT, MANDIBLE, I'm YOUNGER and HOTTER.
Love to hate the Christian slut,
Amy Lynn
Hotter? Where is your proof of this, Amy Lynn? Are you on any CD covers we should know about?
Amy
:(
No, I don't exploit myself for financial gains.
Thank You,
Amy Lynn
And what's with the hostility?
That's what I'D like to know! You called me a slut! :(
I thought this was all in good fun.
That's what I thought, too.
If you love her that much, I'll keep my opinions to myself. Sorry to offend.
Amy Lynn
Hostility only makes The Mandible stronger!
Date: 20 Aug 2003
From: Dave V.
I continue to get a laugh out of this mandibular celebration, and I find it inspirational, as well. It has me thinking about making a webpage about Sharon Corr's Cheekbones from Heaven; believe you me, she has some one of the best sets of poskiluu in the world. Amy's poskiluu aren't bad, either, but she already has Mandible fame.
there is a yahoo group called "amy grant's legs." this is getting out of hand.
then again, should amy grant's legs be *in* hand in the first place?
amy
:)
Date: Sat, 02 Aug 2003
From: Marcia P.
Subject: Amy Grant, what else?
I have been a fan of Amy's since oh, probably the early to mid 80's. I have always considered her a refreshingly naturally pretty gal. The phenomenon that you notice to be her mandible I have always appreciated as her "crossbite". For me it is the position that her mandible takes as she opens and especially closes her mouth that is so intriguing. Of course, your version is much more humorous. Love your website or rather the basis for it.
muchas gracias. "crossbite"—hadn't heard that one before. there are dentists in the family who will have to be consulted about this.
luv,
amy
:)
Oh yes, please let me know if they concur! I have always wondered if I'm right about this.
then again, in the end, crossbite or underbite, it's the Mandible that counts.
From: RevMom
Subject: So Glad
Date: Wed, 23 Jul 2003
My dear Amy,
Today is my lucky day. I, a stressed-out white woman, have been saved from an inevitable emotional and intellectual apocalypse, by your magnificent mandible. For you see, in spite of the numerous tasks I must accomplish, I found myself coerced into watching reruns of The Big Comfy Couch by these people I've given birth to. Several hours of Loonette and Molly and that weirdo Mr. Bedhead, well, don't ask. It was just terrifying. It seemed that all life drained from my being. I was as dull as Kix cereal. I had erratic thoughts of "Flurpity Flurp" and Darren Stevens and feared I might never ever again recognize that beckoning call of something genuinely clever.
And then I met your mandible. And now, like the lyrics of one of your earlier gems, "I'm so_____glad, glad to find the reason that I'm happy sad, that you've torn it all away..."
Truly, truly it is your mandible that has afforded you so much success. Lisa Marie Presley has, I have noticed, a somewhat sheepish (as in timid not woolly) looking mandible which is probably why she fell off the stage during a recent concert appearance on The Today Show. What a dork.
May the blessings on your mandible prevail,
RevMom
"dull as kix cereal?"
you have no idea how exciting kix cereal can be.
luv,
amy
:)
(that's what i look like when i'm around kix)
Subject: Mandible & thanks
Date: Thu, 17 Jul 2003
From: Don M.
Until I saw Amy Grant sing "God Bless America" at the all star game the other night, I didn't have full appreciation for the mandible. Damn, it really is impressive isn't it?
Thanks for the site. I spend way too much time there.
freaky, no? jump back, from the mandibular greatness that is the amester.
Date: Thu, 29 May 2003
From: Gary L.
Subject: El Shaddi
Greetings.
Would you please suggest a way (or two, etc) to obtain a copy of the words to the song "El Shaddi"? (I think that this is the correct spelling, it seem to be one of many in use)
I have found midi versions all over the WEB, but I cannot locate the words.
Thank you.
Yours in Christ,
Gary L., Steward
Wow, I used to want to work for an airline, too!
Okay, this is going to be *verrrrrrry* complicated, but if you can serve peanuts on an airplane, I am sure you will be able to follow my instructions explicitly.
- Open your favorite browser. (You're going to try looking on the "WEB" again.)
- In the address box, type http://www.google.com and press the Enter key.
- In Google's search box, type the following (with the quotation marks exactly as you see them below):
"el shaddai" lyrics
- Choose from about SEVENTEEN HUNDRED AND NINETY different pages that have the lyrics to "El Shaddai."
Tune in next time when I assist you in finding your own navel.
In wild blue wonder,
Amy
From: Bradley O.
Date: Sat, 11 Jan 2003
Thanks for the laughs on this site. BTW, Amy, you are one of my favorite
artists in any kind of music to the point that I gave Gary a lapel pin of
Bemidji, Minnesota to give to you as well as a pin for himself when I was in Nashville.
Boost for Bemidji!
I remember you mentioning on CDNow.com that you are a fan of Ray Charles's
"Spirit of Christmas" album, it is on CD now.
Thanks, I already downloaded the MP3s from the Internet.
I am sure you are not a supporter of unauthorized downloading of copyrighted
music, in fact I know you aren't.
Not when it's inconvenient, that's for sure. Those "legal" sites are such a pain!
In fact for you downloaders who frequent this site, it is theft and God days state in the Ten Commandments, "Thou
Shalt Not Steal."
And isn't there also something against the quartering of troops? It is a fact that I do not support the quartering of troops.
BTW, I know for a fact you do not support such activity selling pirated copies of CDs, bootlegging concerts, etc. either. In fact,
that is also a sin.
You seem to know many facts. I don't remember there being that many facts. Perhaps I was sleeping.
For those people who insist that people in CCM, including you, should only sing Christian music, you can sing whatever you wish to sing just like any other artist.
But doesn't the *CM* stand for Christian Music? I must consult the bylaws. Maybe after my nail appointment.
For those supporters of this site looking for Whipped Cream and Other
Delights, check your local Goodwill store, garage sales, used record stores, eBay, etc. It has been issued on CD but the CD is now out of print and it does go for high sums of money on eBay while the vinyl LP is plentiful.
Supporters of this site looking for Amy Grant product will be happy to know that the Amy Grant catalog remains in full and plentiful supply.
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: Bolariwa
Subject: Love, Amy Grant (Read This Please)
Hi,
This is Davia, a.k.a Bolariwa.
I came across your music some years back and had since fallen in love with it making it i.e Amy Grant my number one singing artist and her music one of the best. Unfortunately, I have just an album with me" Behind The Eyes". I have sought desperately after other albums like" House Of Love","Heart In Motion","Lead Me On", e.t.c. but I have not been able to get them in the Nigerian Market, especially in my area.
Congratulations on your latest release .wish to see it in the Market very soon.
Bolariwa
Nigeria,
West Africa.
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: Bolariwa
Subject: Love, Amy Grant (Read This Please)
Hello
Are you there? It's Davia.
I'm not a professional singer but I love music writers and love writing as well but lately I have been putting pen on paper to write R&B and Rock Music Kind of Music. I wish my lyrics can be appreciated by somebody and probably performed.I would have loved to send a Demo tape but since cd/tape recorder has been stolen I have not been able to save enough to buy another one. I wish I have one now. I usually listen to your tape ("Behind The Eyes" and "The Book" in which you performed the wonderful "Nothing Is Beyond You") when I visit my friends or borrow their walkman and they now get to fall in love with you and your music, especially your style of singing which to us is unique and your lyrics which I have downloaded for them from the internet.
The chorus from the lyrics I just put together include;
I'll always love you in the day
I'll always love you in the night
I'll always love you when the wind blows
I'll always love you in the rain
So don't tell me it's not true
The love you said you had for me
'Cause I'll always love you everyday
So do you love me anyway?
Amy Grant, you have really inspired me, I wish I can sing like You Do. It's just so unique and unmatchable!
Bolariwa
Nigeria,
West Africa.
Date: Fri, 03 Jan 2003
From: baron C'ote
I came across your music some years back and had since fallen in love with it making it i.e Amy Grant my number one singing artist and her music one of the best. Unfortunately, I have just an album with me" Behind The Eyes". I have sought desperately after other albums like" House Of Love","Heart In Motion","Lead Me On", e.t.c. but I have not been able to get them in the Nigerian Market, especially in my area. If you send me information on this, I will send along the contract that will guarantee you at least 30% of the multi-millions trapped in a Nigerian bank oil crude baron C'ote scam scam scam
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: precious barbara
Subject: filling my soul
amy,
you fill my heart and soul with your good christian singing crap. i can not describe how much i need you to write me back.
i am here for you, precious. i am here.
i know we are connected amy. you know it too. don't deny it. otherwise you would not have inspired me to write you haiku
oh amy you do
fill my soul like cherry pie
stuffed with warm goodness
your number 118th fan,
precious barbara
cherry pie is good. coincidentally, i saw a show today on vh1 that explained whatever happened to bobbie brown or bobby brown or bobi brown—at any rate, that hot cherry pie babely from that "cherry pie" video. mmm ... warm goodness. at least in those days. now she looks like a tired, weathered skank. not in jan crouch's league, mind you. but it's coming. oh, is that coming.
luv,
amy
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: precious barbara
Subject: filling my soul
i don't even like cherry pie filling, amy.
i'm sorry, precious barbara—i had thought you were an AMERICAN. 9/11! UNITED WE STAND!!! WOOOO!! SPRING BREAK!!!
i just know that this must be what it feels like to have your soul stuffed with cherry pie filling. sweet, hot, red, and kinda yucky, yet sugary, but not something i like, but everyone else likes it.
perhaps you would prefer your soul to be stuffed with something else?
your number 118th fan,
precious barbara
p.s. since i wrote you a poem, and you are a superstar, will you send me free personal electronics, like maybe a walkman or something?
i'm sorry, but i'm plum out of stock of personal electronics. would you settle for a snow globe?
luv,
amy
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: precious barbara
Subject: filling my soul
i don't understand amy. why are you treating me this
way. i thought we made a vow to never hurt each other
no matter what. why don't you send me a cd player????
i live in AFRICA!
i think it's illegal to export complex electronics to terrorist nations. aren't you a terrorist nation? that's what tom ridge says.
then again, he is a damned yankee.
send me some sit bitch,
precious barbara
sit bitch? is that the new barbie?
p.s.
i'd like to be stuffed with flan, but that is not what i get from you
we don't eat a lot of flan (whatever that is) down here in tennessee. unless you can bar-b-q it. can you?
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: precious barbara
Subject: KILLing my soul
fuck you amy. fuck you and your land of easy access to portable electronics.
how's this amy:
oh amy you do
KILL my soul like wary lies
stuffed with cold badness
your number 811th fan,
precious barbara
change *lies* to *flies* and i think you just might have something there!
i salute you at the beginning of a great career,
amy
Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003
From: precious barbara
Subject: READ THIS FIRST AMY. READ IT FIRST
i'm sorry amy. i still worship your gospel. your name, like a litany, warms my mind. amy amy amy. of course i'm not mad at you.
your number 114th fan,
precious barbara
p.s.
can i have a cd player or something.... as a symbol of your forgiveness.
dearest precious,
or
precious dearest,
whichever.
i'm sensing that you desire a cd player. where could i be getting that idea?
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