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From: Robb L.
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2007

Thank you VERY much for today's RanDumb entry. I've had a serious nerd-crush on Tina for years:

your secret is safe with me (and anyone who googles "Hot girl-anchor on girl-anchor action")
(note to anyone: DON'T DO IT!)

I love the early-20th-century-secretary-fetish vibe of that pic.

tres art frahm (minus celery—and WHY must it be minus celery?? celery and typewriters go together like something and something else.)

Speaking of fetishes and Tina, I was glad to find out that I'm not alone in THIS obsession:

you do realize that link would be bound to display in purple for me already, right?
there used to be a better tina fey's scar page but unlike tina fey's scar it seems to have faded away

From: Dave L.
Date: Sat, 8 Dec 2007


Since you seem to be a fan of them, here is a source for recordings of "Pull Up", "Don't Sink" and other GPWS warnings:

Incidentally, if you're into phone sounds, too, there's this.

PS: Thanks for using ReCaptcha -- IIRC, it was created at my Alma Mater, Carnegie-Mellon University.

Date: Sat, 10 Nov 2007
From: poetdog

JESUS GOD . . . now i am going to portend the impending HUMAN NATURE DAY until sometime next week!

so unfair.

portend it? you're going to foreshadow it?

yass... internal portention.

i am reliably informed that it is still legal to use your human nature on other days. november 16th is just the only day you're allowed to *celebrate* it.

when should we mourn it??

dunno, that's never come up. i guess if you feel the loss of it....


<exasperated clattering of household items>

then you need neither miss nor mourn it.

From: David M.
Subject: Stripper Bingo
Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2007

Hello there...

I have a buddy who is getting married and ran across your site when searching for Stripper Bingo. I was wondering if you had any of those Stripper Bingo cards available and would be willing to pay a small fee.... or even the source files so I can photoshop them up... (I liked the illustrations). We are fellow portlanders and are looking to visit the Acrop for some steak bites and one more night of dumb mail debauchery before he settles down.

lo siento . . . that was, like, ten years ago. you might try importuning the pdx cacophony society.

Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2007
From: Bob F.
Subject: Wagner the dog lover

Interesting, and sort of weird, bit of trivia about Wagner.

i can't believe they left off Diamond, the Fuck-Up Science dog, who burned newton's papers and who may never even have existed at all, except in legend. speaking of legends, another thing i can't believe is that wagner trusted what he considered the greatest work of art—ever—to a dog. maybe the dog was a greater intelligence from outer-space with a cute fur-covered coating, but you can bet cnn never even considered that angle. journalists. pfft.

From: Claus S.
Subject: Help
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007

Hello Doc

Back in the early nineties i listened to two doublealbums with a lot of different bands that sounded a lot like the Cramps.
But it was music from the fifties and maybe sixties and i was told that it was the music that Cramps took up and crampsified.
But the question is, what was it? who played? what was the name of the albums?

Do you have any clue?

it was probably the born bad series (of which there are 7 or 8 volumes).
since then, someone also compiled a series called lux and ivy's favorites (see for a tracklist).
there is some overlap between the two sets. but there is some great stuff.

Date: Sat, 13 Oct 2007
From: Caitlin S
Subject: "o nightingale" composer?

Do you happen to know the composer of the "O Nightingale" song from Unbelievable Believers? I think it's something like L. Lehmann, but I can't find the information anywhere...

there is a song called "an die nachtigal" that lotte lehmann used to sing, but it's a different song (composed by holty & voss).
i don't know who composed the one you're asking about, but if you find out, i'd love to know, too.

From: Lou Minatti
Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2007

Oidar, Oobi, White know, I've always had an interest in parapsychology...

is this "alongside" psychology? or is it in fact metapsychology?
"white time" will re-manifest itself in our dimension. i believe this.

Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2007
From: Kim S.
Subject: "I am weary of the Garden" said the Rose


Thanks for the posting Neal Stephenson's In the Beginning there was the Command Line. If you want to know the right way to eat Captn Crunch or learn how to chart stress reduction by masturbation or other important stuff, that's the guy to go to.

When Babs asked me "You know what I don't like about Ron Paul?" I said "You don't trust guys who have first names for last names."
That got a giggle. Then I told her who I was reminded of by the banner on your site:

From: The Cake Lady
Subject: 666 Ads
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2007

Hi Doc,

I was just wondering if you had a date(s) for when the black, yellow and red ads for the 666 salve came out. The packaging is very similar to another product and I was just curious which might have come first.

Thanks in advance,
Vanessa :-)

i wish i knew the answer for sure. i don't have them with me currently, but my guess would be that they're from somewhere in the first two decades of the 20th century, most likely in the teens somewhere.
ah. i see from the 666 website that the company was founded in 1908. so, yeah, probably those fans are from the teens.
ps: CAKE?!?
pps: CAKE!!!

LOL Yes, cake! is my main site.

nice work! if you weren't in canada, i would already be there, eating cakes in the shape of oobi. (and getting less for my dollar, thanks to the inflationary tactics of the u.s. federal reserve. another story.)

Here is my labour of love, though, my Le Page's Glue site ....which is what prompted me to email you!

very cool! you're one of The le pages! i have always been fairly indifferent to color, but always fascinated by certain shapes, and the mucilage bottle is one of my strongest and fondest childhood shape memories. i just never tired of that bottle and its workings. "GripSpreader"—priceless.

A friend posted a pic of one of the ads on a discussion board as a lark today and I thought for sure it was a spoof so I started doing a little Googling and came across your site.

Note the similarity in packaging on some of the packages on this page and the pages that follow it. This particular packaging cropped up somewhere in the 30's from what I can tell, comparing it to some of the print ads I have. I found one of the ads like one you have pictured on your site listed on eBay and it seems to be marked 1933.

ah. i was way off. sometimes you can gauge a vintage ad by the level of its sentimentality/saccharine. the 666 fans looked to me to have the look of first world war/Over There/babies are cherubs era.

Also note the same colour scheme you and I have for our links. HA!

purely lack of thought on my part. now if links had shapes. . . .

Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2007
From: AL
Subject: ??

what exactly is the deuce of clubs? are you a cult? a gang? a webring?

please, enlighten me

you will find the answers you seek down the left column of the home page.

From: Tom L.
Subject: Neil Frisbee and the Capstone Catheederal
Date: Tue, 31 Jul 2007

Hi Doc,
I live 2 miles from the Cathedral. All of a sudden I became interested in this church. A good friend of mine, who I believe has passed away, 35 years ago was the architect on this cathedral. We never really discussed it at the time. I've gone by there numerous times and you can still see the pews through the windows, but it seems like a ghost town. This must have been aways out of town 35 years ago.

it was definitely at the beginning of the northern edge, when you could still shoot .22s right on thunderbird road (which didn't exist yet, this far east).

I photograph for the Scottsdale Historical Society. I might great a lucky pass to enter the cathedral and document it's interior. Before long I'm sure they will raze the property and it will be lost in time. If I get the pictures and you want them, contact me.

love to see them, thanks, tom. as i understand it, the cathedral now belongs to an ex-nfl football player.

One other question, does anybody know what happened to pastor Frisbie?

he has gone to the great pyramid in the sky. it might be related to roky erickson somehow, but i'm not sure of it.
here's an article about the dispute:
Custody Dispute Brews Over Capstone Church
here's my favorite part:
"In its heyday, the church had 4,000 members who listened to Neal Frisby preach his prophesies. Some came true, like the election of Ronald Reagan. Others, like the end of the world, did not."
like the bible says, "win some, lose some, that's the prophecy game."

Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2007
From: littlehorse416

hi i read that there were duck diapers?? well ihave 2 ducks. peanut and butter and i am not 18 and my mom will not buy me duck diapers. so i was wondering if you could help me improvise a little??

your mother won't buy you duck diapers? man. minor emancipation. it's worth looking into.
i'm not the duck diaper lady, so i have no idea how diapers fit on ducks. their anatomy doesn't look all that complicated. i'm sure you'll work it out. or else you have until you're 18 to potty-train your duck pal.
good luck,

From: Tom D.
Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2007
Subject: Tombstone

Not sure you can help me with this but I cannot seem to find the answer to this question.

In the movie tombstone the "cowboys" were portrayed as a gang identified by wearing red scarves. It seems to me that I did read on that subject in high school history books,however, 35 years later I cannot find that information.

Can you please help me find this answer or recommend a person or facility to contact.

the sashes were an embellishment by the filmmakers. wikipedia has a list of historical accuracies and inaccuracies in tombstone.
at the bottom of that page are links to further historical discussions.

From: Judy M.
Subject: Hobo Joes
Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007

I was just playing on the internet for fun and came across the Hobo Joes article....I worked at the Hobo Joes in Scottsdale from 1981 till it closed..It was a sad day and none of the other hobo joes were like the one in scottsdale..I also worked at Bomans Deli in scottsdale..from 77 till 80..I dont recall the giant Hobo but who knows i was young and those were crazy times..i remember the smaller one in the lobby..Denny's closed most of the hobo joes right?nice web page i enjoyed son use to love hobos cinnamon apple jelly...i have a mug, but it has a black bottom...I met my husband at the hobos in scottsdale..8 kids and 25 years later i am still waiting on him..thanx judy

Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007
From: Dana in Hawaii
Subject: THANKS

THANKS SO MUCH for the GREAT laugh! I just read the pieces on the 666 Brand of cold and cough medications...WHAT A TRIP!!! I work in OTC for a major HMO and saw several 666 products on a list of new-to-the-market products. I, too, was very curious about the origins/justification for the name...your article was FANTASTIC! Thanks for making me laugh!!! LOVED IT!!

so, as an expert . . . do you buy their explanation?

NOOOOOOOOOOO - don't buy it at fact, I think Satan himself is the true CEO!!!!!!!!! kidding - I am not sure what I think about it. It's just ODD, ODD, ODD. But you can get so much mileage out of it...your conversation with the receptionist was a HOOT...and the irony that she had a COUGH - I was ROLLING!!! (wonder if she was chugging 666???) AND I LOVED the part about the laxative or whatever that had the tag line "it'll scare the shit out of you." FANTASTIC!!! Again, it made my day, but NO, I don't buy that they are innocently sporting dumbfounded looks and batting their eyes in amazement at those that inquire as to the "why" of it all, as if having a line of products with '666' on them is a perfectly normal and natural and CHRISTIAN thing to do. BIZARRE!!!

From: Juan Martinez
Subject: Mere Anarchy!
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007

Hello! So strumming, yes, but still horribly off-pitch.

You might already know this but the new Woody Allen collection has a 2nd Coming title.


Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2007
From: Allarea
Subject: thanks for the laughs

BACK AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.....that's what I have to tell myself when I get on your website......its such a fun romp!!!

Thanks for the laughs and for introducing me to the Sacred Disorder....

-carry on my friend

(i was so afraid that was heading for wayward son territory....)

From: ken j.
Subject: I saw your old article about the Gallopin Goose Saloon in Coolidge!
Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2007

Hey Doc,

I'm Ken Jones, My wife, Saundra and I purchased the Gallopin Goose in Coolidge In 2003. I found an old article about the Goose by "googling". We have added a kitchen and promoted the Legend of Waylon Jennings getting his start as a soloist and songwriter. I would love to have you stop by and see the "New" and much improved Gallopin Goose Saloon!

good to hear from you. i am glad the goose yet lives. i recently read waylon's autobiography, and he mentions the gallopin goose (and also the sand & sage--which i think got torn down, didn't it?).
i passed through coolidge a couple of weeks ago on my way to my property (on the other side of the mts.) and would have stopped in to say hello, but my fellow traveler was under a time constraint. next time, for sure.
keep gallopin,

From: OoOoOhHhHWwWeEeE
Date: Wed, 30 May 2007
Subject: Paintings of Hobo joes World Traveler

My father recently died and had a enormous collection of art work in his collection are four painting and I see post cards of them on Hobo Joes Restaurant. The paintings are a Hobo on a Hamack, Hobo Hanging up his clothing YMCA, Hobo Fishing and Hobo cooking. They are all signed MH can you please tell me who the artist is and is their a place I can donate them too they are really amazing pieces of art.

i would highly recommend to you the Mintrigue Manor Museum of Delights.

From: Jim & Patty \(blondeeleo\)
Subject: is jesus christ super nut still available?
Date: Sun, 27 May 2007

i am making this sound in the back of my throat. it's really annoying. it goes:

From: Lamont Leamon
Date: Thu, 24 May 2007


I am very interested in a book you have featured on your website entitled: Astrology and Horse Racing by Rigel Spica.

How much is it and how do I go about placing an order?

do you really, truly (i mean, actually, for reals) believe that the stars in their courses influence horses on their tracks? and, that these influences have been deciphered by human beings? to the point that a book on the subject will enable you to choose, with an accuracy beyond chance (not to mention beyond studying, as far as is possible, the history and attributes of the actual horses that will be racing) the winners of horse races?
because if i hadn't already sold the book ages ago, i would be happy to sell it to you at an appropriately inflated price—because it contains knowledge that is, at the very least, impossible.
btw, how's that credit repair coming? i am toe-tully psychic! (so long as i have a net conx.)
beware of chico marx,

HI doc,

I studied the horses using Joyce Wehrman's Book on Winning-Zodiacal Timing, back in the early 1980's, with very positive findings. For example, I have noticed, without a doubt, that some trainers and owners do in fact know of and enter their horses to win, or not to win, under astrological influences that will exist at the expected time the race is to finish. Joyce's research on jockey constants is brilliant. Do you know of Joyce's book that I refer to? Btw, Google my name brings up a few minute findings, from one physic to another.

From: Hi There
Subject: Wagner's head wound
Date: Thu, 24 May 2007


I just discovered your web site today and I have really enjoyed it. I liked your articles on Burning Man and the Mojave Phone Booth.

Just one question, if I may: Could you please tell me how the Wagner bust received his unfortunate head wound? I read the FAQ on your site but it was not mentioned.

Poor Herr Wagner pitched into the Rio Grande back in 1991.

Lieber Herr Wagner,

Das tut mir leid fur ihr kopf. Sehr schlect. Der "Rio Grande" fluß ist gemeingefährlich. Gute besserung!

Ihr freund

(translation: Dear Herr Wagner, Sorry to hear about your head. That sucks. The Rio Grande is dangerous to the public. Get well soon, your pal, A)

Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2007
Subject: Re: grand canyon cover
From: Steven Richman

fyi, the Symphonic Jazz: Grofe and Gershwin in original Paul Whiteman Orchestra versions cd cover on Bridge Records 9212 design is by Alex Steinweiss, who invented the lp record jacket and illustrated album cover in the late 1930's. Alex did over 2000 covers as art director for Columbia Records, as well as for the Everest, Decca, and London labels. He does cd cover designs exclusively for Harmonie Ensemble/New York, and is retired in Sarasota, FL.

There is a terrific book on him and his designs, For the Record: The Life and Work of Alex Steinweiss, Inventor of the Album Cover, publ. by Princeton Architectural Press, NY.

Date: Mon, 14 May 2007
From: Kerry K.
Subject: enya

For the record, Enya does NOT sing about "boobs and beer and hijinks". Ever.

it's in gaelic code.

yeah, well, I, being of 100% irish decent, speak fluent gaelic and know for a fact that she sings about faeries and banshees (not of the siouxsie variety) and rainbows and rippling streams and stupid crap like that!
get yer facts straight.


Not that I listen to Enya or anything. Or have a retroactive crush on Christopher Plummer circa 1965.
I'm just sayin'.

i would fear to ask your guilty pleasures.

Subject: Art Car Parade 2007
Date: Wed, 9 May 2007
From: Tony K.

Any chance Wagner will make it to Houston for the 20th annual Art Car Parade this Saturday?

I know Whip It! might be out of commission, but it’s still fun, and we’re still here.

i'd love to, but i'm afraid wagner's up to his ears right now, & so am i. i hope it goes well, and that someone plays a herb alpert song in whip it!'s memory.

Date: Fri, 4 May 2007
From: handsome greg
Subject: jesus wept (this is about your churchie demos page)

hey man. look, im a little confused here. i've been working frantically to release a record i lovingly call "Jesus Wept: When His Good Word Goes Bad" and well... here's the deal: it was leaked to me by an employee of a christian record label here in town (nashville-town that is - home of about 100 christian labels btw) and was told it was all original unsolicited material. i'm honestly a little shocked and pissed off that you seem to have been "leaked" the same songs. now, obviously ive been lied to and have been laboring under false pretenses, so PLEASE indulge me and explain how you got your hands on these gems? my sanity is at stake here. thanks dude.

i guess the moral of the story is: google first, then work frantically. . . .
as to origins, i can't elucidate more than to say the material came into my hands several years ago (though in the western part of the u.s., rather than the east).
while i'm not sure "leaked" is the correct word (other than in some literal sense, of course), i suspect it has been circulating for some time.
hoping your sanity escaped from the stake,

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