To Deuce of Clubs index page Autographed copies of Adventures with the Mojave Phone Booth are now available!

Autographed copies of Adventures with the Mojave Phone Booth are now available!

Date: Sat, 8 May 1999
From: Jessica Webster
Subject: aloha!

Hiya Deuce!

Perusing hertofor unknown quarters of the Deuce of Clubs (I love how the architecture is such that there seem to always be entire dimensions left to explore),

"architecture," she says. my plan is working!
some people like that; some are annoyed by it. me, i'm trying to get through the backlog before i consider any redesign (which it probably does need)

[Update, 30oct2004 -- Here it is, 5-&-a-half years later & I'm finally getting to the redesign, section by section. This delay should spring immediately to mind when I promise anything.]

I'm reminded of some things and commonalities...

First off - while I never attended the "How Berkeley Can You Be" parade, I used (from '94 to 8/98) to live right on MLK and Berkeley way - a block from MLK x University, where it started or ended, depending on the year I think. This is probably why I never attended - that and the fact that it happened the day after some all night phantasmagoria. Goldurn it, I guess I really missed out last year.

it was a load of fun. but it wasn't the first meat parade, and maybe we'll be able to sneak in again next year

Browsing the Items section, I can't help but recall the heady days of the early/mid 80s, when Scary Gary and I would accost passersby on Haight and Masonic and hand out wierd shit we had collected. We were too smart to be uber-goths - we had a strong sense of the campiness of the culture we were a part of - but Flipper was then known to change the lyrics of Sex Bomb to Death Rock when I walked into the room (ok, they were my roomates, but still. Ah, the 80s). Anyway! One day I found like a gazillion head xrays in a dumpster outside St. Mary's hospital, and after they crackled from being stuck to my windows as shades they made nice handouts. The most fun, and most disturbing, tho, were the little fliers we made from the books of Skin Diseases and Bullet Path Ballistics in an autopsy series (Gary was studying to be a mortician); we murmured "We Are Beatrice" as we thrust them at tourists. That was a good time.

lmao here!

Scary and I stopped hanging out when he started graverobbing - you're supposed to *find* things, not go looking for them. Duh! I saw him years later on a bus in a quiet part of town - regularly, which was wierd - wearing all various shades of beige. I don't know what that means.

Anyway, I have a couple things that want very much to be part of the Items family, but they're afraid to leave the house.

we would never ask anyone to part with an item unwillingly

Oh, they're also pretty goth (I swear I'm well beyond over it, that was so 15yr ago. Ooh - I did just slip a Sioxsie cd into the player, tho. Kay, it's in my blood.)

i still like siouxsie. gotta like siouxsie

Erk. OK, Grotus now. Mmm...): an Uncle Fester candy dispenser (pop his head back and sugar granules pour out - except that he's still in the original packaging), a little doll that looks like me when I had red hair, who's blister pack says "She stands on her own two feet!," Bloodsuckers gum balls (they turn your mouth bright red) - those seem too obvious, tho really...

don't know how that would scan ... i'd have to maybe drool on the scanner or something

OH! I remember what I was going to tell you!!! The Walgreen's downtown, on Powell St., had 666 Cold Preparation - a dry powder in a box. It's on the bottom shelf of the cold care aisle; I only spotted it because I had to wait for an Rx for a long time and chose to shop... I was completely befuddled and got on my cel phone to everyone I knew who would laugh with me, and wigged.

yeah, walgreen's is a big distributor. although 666 has since changed the packaging -- they widened the space between the sixes

Deep thoughts impossible now - I've had too much sugar this afternoon. Double Rainbow Chocolate Sorbet. Fat free, so you can eat a whole tub and get manic!

In closing, I'll keep my eyes open for yummy things, (no I won't; if I look I won't find them, I'm sure) and hope that the glut of wackiness is not past, and pack some off to AZ soon.

excellent. danke.

I'm very, very pleased to see that there's a fab, funny Jess out there sending you Rollys! Please give her my regards.


From: Kathleen Pearson
Subject: Hello from Bisbee
Date: Thu, 6 May 1999

Hi Deuce,

What actually finally happened to WHIP IT?

whip it!'s marooned in san jose. her final destiny has not yet been discovered
Ed Smith has talked about you, do you have any plans for a trip to Bisbee?

yes, when it gets unbearably hot in phx, i'll be heading southward some weekend, definitely

I made another art car since I last saw you, called HEX MEX, formerly P.A. DUTCHIE. I left a message on your phone awhile back and expected to maybe see you at the Snottsdale Event?

i was out of town that weekend. at any event, it would probably have been too painful w/o poor, dear whip it!

Any plans for going to WEST FEST, I am going, maybe you could ride along, if you don't have an art car to drive.

danke. if i haven't rescued or rendered her by that time, i may try to bring her back with me. it's all quite a mystery...

Date: Tue, 4 May 1999
From: Jess
Subject: a small mexican chi-wow-wow

so my bud lissa discovered your page all on her oddy knocky,

did she see my mexican kubrick page?

and she thinks you're pretty damn chill.

please convey my benificent response. (er, as pancho said, "don't let it end this way. tell them i said something")

she's getting the early-college wanderlust herself,

one piece of advice: ACT ON IT

so she admires you for... well you know, running around being deuce, i guess. we are inertial young students saying "wouldn't it be nice to go places and do things." and you do them. like what i said before. anyway so i just wanted you to know you have the admiration of... the daughter of the man who invented neural nets! how do you like THEM apples?

i like apples

yes. 4 am again. i should not be up. i should definitely not be communicating. i hope you get your big piece of ground. if you're 40 miles from anything would you take the sign[s] down?

i would still have signs. no getting away from that ...

Date: Mon, 03 May 1999
From: Fish Rule The Sea
Subject: News

Hi Deuce,

The annual Polka party was held last saturday at a new venue, an Eagles club (aerie?) on Hawthorne right next to the Space Room. The Eagle Wives volunteers slinging the beer and the bartender named Vern definitely added panache to the event. Sorry you missed it. There was plenty of keilbasa and pickled vegetable products for all.

Also just thought I'd mention in case you hadn't heard about it that members of Portland Cacophony were out last week protesting a new ordinance here which raised the fines and/or penalties for the act of slinging human urine out of the window of a moving vehicle. Seems that they took umbrance to the fact that the monkeys in the zoo have more rights than we do towards freedom of pisstossing. After all, it IS a basic primate right to hurl pee and/or feces in every other corner of the world. Any comment?

love Bethany

p.s. I've been trying to find proof of the above story, so far haven't had any luck. It was told to me word of mouth but apparently was also supposed to have been mentioned on a couple radio stations; I'm hoping it's a true story but even as a vicious rumor it's a nice picture.

Date: Sun, 02 May 1999
From: daniel paul
Subject: vegas.


Do you know about Las Vegas this weekend? There is a confrence for The End is Near. Alot of the artists will be there. On Friday, Jodi, me, and some others are going to go with the artists to places like the Bellagio and Liberace's house! Symposium and book signing from 11:00 to 4:00 both days, at the Las Vegas Art Museum at 9600 W. Sahara Ave, (702)360-8000. Hope to see you there.

i'd love to go -- but i'll be at the deadbolt show in tempe. (that book & that band just seem to coincide somehow.)

Is Whip It! still in Oakland?

san jose

I say tow Whip It! to Amboy and leave it there at the gas station!

that would be EVIL

Date: Wed, 05 May 1999
From: Robert C.
Organization: Cockeyed
Subject: expanding foam, &c.

My word, your site is vast.

yeah. i must have "TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS" (the forbidden phrase)

Great Phone booth story, the mojave one.

thanks. it kind of took me over for a while. i'm getting better

Wagner is too bizarre. I have an Elvis bust about that size. Plaster. Is Wagner plastic?

no, he's plaster. that's how come he's all bust-ed up now

I was thinking about putting him up on ebay under the title "Hitler Bust", with picture . Must have broken your heart, exploding him like that.

yeah, but i didn't do it on purpose!

Something that strikes me about your site, in one story, I think "mojave phone booth", you quote a guy who told you "you have too much time on your hands". I get that ALL THE TIME. That is going to be carved on my tombstone. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS.

don't you hate that? i do. it is "the phrase that is not to be spoken."

What do OTHER people do with all their damn time?

that's what i'd like to know

The best thing about the booth is the plaque. I used to have a fake rubbing of its counterpart on the moon. Very funny.

i'm surprised (pleasantly) that no one's taken a shot at it yet.

I have never been to burning man, but I am told I belong there. I definitely can construct something large. That is labor day, right?


From: Dan Huffman
Subject: Greetings and Questions
Date: Sun, 2 May 1999


If you could describe Burning Man in one paragraph, how would you do it?

if i could do it, i would use the words of someone else, who called it "bedouin mardi gras."

that's only a sentence, though.


Is Burning Man worth attending?

a silly question to ask someone who's gone multiple times, don't you think?

I admit to being more than just a little apprehensive, but I think it could be a pretty enriching experience.

if you're apprehensive, this might be your brain, signalling that you wouldn't enjoy it. sometimes it's good to listen to one's brain.

i think you can get a good idea of burning man from the web. go to and see whether you can acclimatize yourself

From: Mary
Subject: Art Car Weekend
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 1999

Hi there! I was in need of some laughs as I just returned from the dentist--definitely not on my list of 1000 favorite things to do. Anyway, I came to your site because I knew that there would be lots of laughs--yes, I'm sucking up!!

I chose Art Car Weekend because it sounded like lots of fun. Much to my surprise, it was a trip around Arizona. I was a little disappointed because you didn't make fun of Kearny, though.

i couldn't make fun of kearny -- i liked it.

I lived there for a time in the '60's and visit there occasionally now as I have relatives living there. But it was fun to "travel" down 177 again! The last time I made that lovely trip was with a station wagon full of screaming kids--and that rates just above a trip to the dentist on my list of 1000 favorite things to do.

Thanks again for the laughs, and keep having fun at what you do, because life is too short not to laugh at yourself.


When are you going to bring Wagner to Prescott for Frontier Days?

yeah, i need to do that. my old man grew up in prescott, actually. (did you see when i was a kid, i saw the smoki dances

From: Neil
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 1999

After reading of your trip to BM last year, I have the following (diverging paralell) experience to share: We left SD in a caravan a few days before the opening weekend at BM. I had purchased a new 10lb fire extinguisher in order to be prepared for the worst. We were about 45 minutes on our way, and still quite excited about all the possibilities the trip held. Off in the distance we saw a huge cloud of smoke on the highway, and as we got closer we noticed that there was an RV off to the side, and as we examinied it closer we noticed that there were flames erupting under it....Well I immediately pulled over (a safe distance back) got that extinguisher and ran up and put it out. I had to roll around on the dirt a bit, but it kicked off the trip in a positive way. The family thanked me and gave me $20 to replace the 1 hour old extinguisher.

It was the same fault- a broken oil line from the engine spewed onto the exhaust manifold FWIW

From: Janie
Subject: yeehaw!
Date: Mon, 26 Apr 1999

Hey, Blue Haired Wagner Boy!

Just Aunt Janie, the Chick Who Draws Amputated Strippers, saying hullo and I reeely dig yer site! I just got connected to the e-world and my butt is atrophying from 4 straight hours on line...

I may be visiting my uncle in Tempe (the one I was named after--no, he's not Uncle Jane, but Uncle John...figger it out) some time next month and it would be swell to hang out. PLEASE tell me there's SOME kinda culcher in Tempe, cuz I couldn't find any! No flaming freaks! Just frat boys in khaki shirts. (Or, as my uncle calls em, rich kids from Grosse Pointe who couldn't get into University of Michigan...)

yes ... well, that's tempe all right ...

Whelp, won't write a novel here. I should be making costumes for the lizard (and myself) Say hey, won't you?

Cheers, and again, NIFTY SITE!

Remember: A clean lizard is a happy lizard.

Yer pal,
Aunt Janie/Libby Keister

Date: Mon, 26 Apr 1999
From: Jess

well, your site has kept me utterly fascinated for most of today, to the detriment of my schoolwork. i called the phone booth after reading the articles... i couldn't resist. it's kind of an amazing feeling, knowing that you're making the phone ring in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the country. i've got the number on a sticky note on my computer now... this could easily become an addiction.

if you ever need a travel companion besides wagner, let me know. when i find a man who knows its from it's, i follow him anywhere.

Date: Mon, 26 Apr 1999
From: Joules
Subject: Regarding Phone booth

I read about the "great phone booth" in an article from the San Bernardino Sun newspaper. I starting following the web site and turning other people on the website. (great I might add!) Anyways, we are planning a camping trip out to the booth and I thought we might invite you. A date hasn't been set yet, as more people confirm I will set a date. So far we have about 10 planning on going!! What do you think? I know it may seem weird to camp with a bumch of people you don't know, but heck, we're crazy and fun to hang out with. and have something in common, we nuts about the lonely phone booth!!!

I have a call into the newspaper to see if I can get a reprint for you. I am surprised you did not get it. It had the website address and a full page story on you. There were even some pictures of the phone booth. It was a really nice write up!!

keep me posted, i'll try to get out there for it

Date: Mon, 26 Apr 1999
From: Dante Alighieri
Subject: Tank

Funny that. It's an M60A1 tank.

I drove these in 1987 during basic training and AIT. I then moved on to M60A3 main battle tanks, M728 demolition tanks, and M1A1 Abrams.

Where was that exactly?

that's bouse, arizona. it's NW of quartzsite. it was a wwII training ground for a very short time.

Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999
From: Liz

I had a dream last night that we were having dinner -- I was eating salad, with maybe feta or something, and lots of red bell peppers.

what i want to know is, what was for dessert?

That's the annoying part! I was just eating salad! I mean, I would never just eat salad anyway, and it was a dinner-sized salad. It was tasty, I think, but I mostly remember bright red and green colors, and only vaguely that you were there and I think we must've been in Arizona. No desert entered the scene or I would have recounted that first. What should it have been?

something choco. like, say, black forest cake

mmmmmmmmm ... blaaaack for-rest caaaaaaake

Funny you should menion that,

you know me, i'm liable to menion anything

I'm in the Black Forest! There are cherries just everywhere, and Germans.

during the war, they used to call germans "cherries"

No, really, I'm in Toronto. It's great. We have a lake of decent size (not that you desert folk care),

hey, we got lakes in the desert!

I can take public transportation everywhere, walk to the store for milk in my slippers,

why would you want milk in your slippers?

see movies every night if I wanted to.

Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999
From: beagleperson
Subject: just curious

Hi Deuce,

I like the new addition. haha That sure sounds like Hasil. Maybe he's familiar with this tune.

thanks a hunch,


Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999
From: Anonymous
Subject: wagner

i was very pleased to see an hour's worth of important information was presented on KAET, channel 8, phoenix on the evening of april 21, 1999. this was one of the GREAT COMPOSER shows. had i seen any of the other GREAT COMPOSER shows? had i planned on watching this one? did i even KNOW there was such a thing as a GREAT COMPOSER series? nope. but after reading about the phone booth and your site in the new times, and reading tons of material on your site, it was fate that lead me to the tv show telling me more about wagner.

i must also say, hats off to your guest conductor in egypt, israel, etc. i read every word. i was puzzled, mystified, i laughed, i cried, yet enjoyed it all.

i also found that i have read your stuff before. it was wierd going back and reading some of your pieces from the mid 90s, i had seen it in print in planet etc, and there i was, enjoying it again online.

being from phx myself, it is fun to see many of the pictures on your site from around town, and from places that are actually within reach of me and my very own white courtesy van. thanks for the fun and entertainment, your site is happily bookmarked and will be visited often. now i just have to keep an eye open to see when i can join you and your people for my own little bikeride to tucson, climbing the superstitions, entertaining celebrities that come to phoenix, and most of all, for the next trip to the phone booth.

alas, i am just another fan who really enjoys the site, the humor, and the pictures of wagner. im very tempted to steal your idea and photograph my own thriftstore statue, but, im afraid it has already been done, and done well. i havent seen pics of jerome, the rest area on the way to flagstaff, the grand canyon, tijuana, or millions of other places wagner must visit. i will be watching and waiting.

From: TomCat
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999
Subject: Deuce of Clubs

Ola Deuce! TomCat aka Spanky here. Say, would it be possible to subscribe to the Deuce of Clubs update listing? I'd really appreciate it.

I hope this e-mail finds you, and your side kick Wagner, on the road to adventure and doing really swell! Also, if there are any new contests or people you would like photographed and/or interviewed, please let me know. I really should have thought of this when I last spoke to surf guitar legend Dick Dale.

Your ad hoc bartender and close personal friend,


Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999
From: Vic Masters

Tried phoning you in the desert but couldn't get through and forgot to try again. Don't hate me, I mean, i did phone my mother!

What happened to your hair? I didn't recognize you from the photo in New Times. You looked like a beekeeper!

Warmest regards,

Vic Masters

From: trixie
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999

It's great! I'm reading it at work cracking up.

Can I request a copy of the picture of Mark taking a picture of me? It completes the set.

You rock!!!!!

Date: Wed, 21 Apr 1999
From: Cynthia
Subject: alohahola

waikiki is swaying, um, i mean the palms. my palms may be swaying at the beck show too. and i'll probably be looking around for a teal green samsonite case with combo lock.

From: early
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 1999
Subject: thx4:)

Great site!
Stumbled on to your site after doing a search on shaped note singing for a survey of world music class.
Nice job. Planning on calling the mojave tonight.
weird, wacky stuff.

by the way: is that robert or lindsay wagner?

Date: Sat, 03 Apr 1999
From: Shawn
Subject: Playb0y

I found your page, because I often go on the internet looking for pictures of Hot Arshes and sechs.

From: Deborah
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 1999

I would definitely like to keep informed about Mojave Phone Booth updates and events.

(Hey, if I make it to the next Mojo day, can I have my picture taken with Wagner? Pretty please?)

Must be photographed with the bust,

From: Elmer Travits Jr.
Subject: Hey!
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 1999

Why Heeeloooo there young fella....

I was a' wondrin if you could help me with a little problem I'm having. I was a, I say I was a'mosyin through the local grocery mart here in my home town of road kill arizona, and I happened upon a very deeeesturbin little flask a some kinda cold rememdy...or such. Why, I noticed that it had the sign of the beast right there on the side of the bottle....and welsir, I reckon I'm just a little bit concerned m'self. We don't take kindly to those outside influences of evil in our peacful community...and I was told you're the man that can help me out. A few of us down here were a'plannin on maybe throwin a spirital kinda fire dance or some such, maybe doin our best to rid that devil of our local grocery's called Circle J....Mhhhhmm-mmmm. Please respond beforin it's too late...our comunity needs your help sir...thank ya kindly....

Elmer Travits Jr.
Road Kill, AZ

From: the orange show
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999

deuce -

I wish you were here. and no doubt so does everyone else who knows you.


sleep well


i wish i could have made it to art car weekend this year. i wish even more that whip it! could've made it. but i did do something instead.

Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999
From: Jessica
Subject: acronym query

Heya Deuce,

I have been, and will continue to be, endlessly enjoying your website.

I hope we get to play in the desert this summer!

Meanwhile, here's my query: what's the DSWYE rule? The one that you didn't follow...

something about not doing something where you do something else. or something.

From: Steve
Subject: junk mail
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 1999

I was reading where a guy sends out invoices to companies who send him unsolicited mail, and it reminded me of your playing cards sent to credit card companies. He charges $75 for processing each envelope, and has received 3 checks so far. He intends to send reminders to those who haven't remitted, with the mention that he still has their unsolicited envelope, and suggests we all begin doing this.

[Note: An excellent idea -- this info comes from a letter to the editor of Adbusters magazine.]

From: Mark Simple
Subject: Max
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 1999

msg from max (a snippet)

I received a really "nice" book from Deuce (aka "buttmunch") when I got home last weekend, it's a book - probably from the library called "Wanta Bet?" and he altered the cover and some text inside to incorporate his name and all the bets he's won from me, he's a bastard

I was LAFFING...ho ho - did you scan this?

i'm afraid i did

From: Hesby
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 1999

My mother-in-law's dad is a retired internist who used to be the personal physician to Reagan's parents. When they were ill during the Reagan administration, he had a special code that would put him right through to the White House. Because of this, he would often say that he could get ahold of the first lady faster than he could contact his own wife.

Aren't you glad you know?


Date: Thu, 08 Apr 1999
From: Alan Covington

How I got here? By following your BM links.

I probably won't ever make it there, but it is fun to read about it and to see images from it.

Date: Thu, 8 Apr 1999
From: Walter Theus
Subject: Your web-based activities.
Date: Sun, 28 Mar 1999

You, sir, are a nut!! I've shared your Wagner site address with a number of musical friends, and we've laughed our a**e* off talking about your postings. Keep up the good work, please. Life ain't worth living without a little fun.

Priority: Urgent
From: Jennifer Leijten
Subject: The Osmonds - The Plan
Date: Tue, 06 Apr 99

I think you should get a day job and stop critising what you don't know or understand.

well, maybe. and you could maybe ...

(1) lighten up
(2) look a little deeper into the origins of your religion
(3) learn to spell

From: Hillary
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 1999 10:28:47 PST

Is this really Shane Dorians email address?? If it is, I wanted to tell you I'm a big fan of you.

does that mean i am the boss of you?

just how big are you?

If its ok, I wanted to ask you about your guns. I heard you ride a Carper 9' 8", 19 1/4" wide, and 3" thick. That seems long for those big walls you ride. Why is that your board?

cos it's BIG! i like stuff that's BIG!

Anyways, that's cool how you won the Rip Curl!!! I have posters of it up on my bedroom wall. I'm about to paint it too

the poster? or the wall?

and was wondering what your favorite color was. Its probably blue right? :)

actually, chartreuse.

You're so cool!

and, i rawk!

the rip-curlin'est

Date: Mon, 22 Mar 1999
From: Olivia Henderson
Subject: mystery castle

I'm sure you've noticed, but in the pic with wag and the fireplace at the castle, there is what appears to be ANOTHER tiny wagner head directly below and to the left of the "window." Weird.

Date: Sat, 20 Mar 1999
From: Royalmail

Just heard that they are going to put up the missing cap on the pyramid in gold but just for a festival, can't get it confirmed but the coming capstone Jesus is soon coming...and you got that pyramid cap at capstone cathedral talking about it just in front of you. Well didn't they say that the best way to hide something is to put it in front of people.

Anyways they talked about something interesting at discovery channel here that two scientist does not think the pyramid was a grave for some farao in fact they have never found anything that should confirm it just some script on a wall. Well they can argue they are in someway coming close to the truth.

Best Regards,

From: Chasmo
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 1999
Subject: Wagner sighting

Found this LP at a local Salvation Army at a half-off sale on St. Pat's. The vinyl within is scuffed beyond imagination (why do these records always have drink rings on them?) but had to get it for the cover, which instantly made me think of Wagner and his travels.

He looks more like Chopin, don't you think? The face is similar to your bust (er...your statue) but his hair is much more Chopin-ian.

would it surprise you to learn that i also own a copy of the bust on your lp?

Maybe the bust on my LP was in Wagner's later period, after he'd sworn off love beads and protests.

a genius is entitled to a new hairdo from time to time

I'm an avid collector of LP "valuables."

same here. just last friday, i visited the salvation army where i first met wagner. and what do i find? SIXTEEN copies of whipped cream & other delights! how much more valuable can one get?

On the same trip I also picked up a copy Don Ho's 30 greatest,

THIRTY? hmm ... gotta be some serious padding on that album

some godawful harmonica feature, two Enoch Light Command LP's, and a choice "Up With People '75" (autographed no less). My band was playing at a local dive that day so I did a dramatic reading from the Up With People record, a great lyric titled "What Color is God's Skin?" Pity no one had a tape running.

My gal and I were inspired by your site several months ago and decided to put stories about our own travels on the Net.

we are gratified to have served as an inspiration

Except that we don't visit exotic locales like the funeral museum--our stories are mostly about stuff like getting our Chevette out of the pokey when a cop nabbed us for fake tags.

Some day when I have time to while away the days in my underwear I hope to put up a site about all my weird LP finds.

i know what you mean. i do have some album covers scattered around the site, and, in addition to my weekly item and weekly book, i'd love to do a weekly album. but what stops me is that it takes double the scanning time of a book (too time-consuming to scan the halves of the cover & then put them together)

I have the standard Leonard Nimoy and Sebastian Cabot fare, but also great stuff like three amateur Filipino guys doing "Sergeant Pepper."

wow. i'd love to say something about that. but all i can manage is, "wow."

Date: Thu, 18 Mar 1999
From: cz

deuce you crazy-assed animal your site is real nice.

thank you.

what's your day job,

please do not curse at me

and what time do you wake up in the morning?

seven-oh-one sharp. why?

From: GranVizier
Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999
Subject: Things & Stuff

Love your site!

Found it lookin' for Processed World. I loved the necktie piece. Brilliant!

Anyway, I have a piece I want to send them, but couldn't find an online -zine. Any ideas?

well, mine got in Processed World w/o my knowledge, so i don't know what the legitimate method is

PS.- As a published PW contributor with a really co-o-o-l site, you have just won a pre- submission preview of my piece, if you like. Lemme know.

Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999
From: Aussie Meyer
Organization: Mining Co.
Subject: Stunned

All this about you "working" in the Items lately. Surely you don't *work*? I assumed you had transcended that.

just because i "work" doesn't mean i haven't transcended it

You probably already know that Choco-Tacos are available at Taco Bell now - Si, como no?

i did (even though i don't set foot in that rodent's slaughterhouse)

Excuse it, I know that's an ancient article written long ago, I just got engrossed with the Write On page today. I am wishing the Kennedy mystique thing was out there, though, because I am speculating about Jackie Kennedy's voice this morning.

well, it's pretty damned rude, that one.

waitaminnit -- then why *isn't* it up? maybe i'll do something about that ...

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