From: Kip
To: deuce
Cc: Spanky
Subject: the move
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1998 09:53
Importance: high

[CLICK-CLICK] Mission Control...this is Salvage 1 over....[static]...the eagle has landed repeat the eagle has landed. Dormant vehicle was retrieved safely and is now docked and secure at Home Base Sierra Juliet over....[static]

Yeeee-haa! Tomcat & I had a MOST EXCELLENT ADVENTURE yesterday extricating WhipIt! from the dreaded Impending Impound!

The Operation ran like clockwork. Acting upon Deuce's early morning call-to-arms, I rang down reveille on Tomcat (aka Senor Spanky), who emerged from his stupor, got on The Grid and expeditiously acquired the necessary equipment for transporting Deuce's CARcass. Meanwhile, I buzzed Adrian for a heads-up that we were enroute and Men On A Mission.

I swiftly joined forces with Tomcat at his compound. From there we ventured out to procure "The Mighty Heavy Towbar of Death". My little wimpy 4 cylinder red truck, with its glowing orange "CHECK ENGINE" light, later proved to be quite reliable on its maiden voyage as a rugged tow vehicle. Through scattered showers and gusty winds, we slalomed up the Peninsula to The City. In less than an hour we traversed SJ to SF, arriving at Pier 26 early afternoon, partly cloudy (both the weather and ourselves....).

We roused out Adrian from his studio, took a few quik pics for historical purposes of The Former Resting Place...two Santas were spotted in some sort of ill-conceived Xmas card plot posing nearby WhipIt!...we then proceeded to wrestle "The Mighty Heavy Towbar of Death" into its locked-and-ready position.

Conjoined in Holy Tow-ledomony, with Senor Spanky splayed out prone back in the bed of the truck, eagle-eyeing our set-up for any signs of rookie hook-up or other unwanted loadshifting or chainbusting, we sluggishly crept along the Embarcadero towards San Jose.

20 MPH! 30 MPH! WHOA! STOP! Fix chains. Check the set-up. 25 MPH! 35 MPH! STOP! Turn on WhipIt's lights For Safety. 2 or 3 more stops before we get on the freeway, just to ensure the integrity of the link, then Tomcat jumps into the front seat and we zoom out.

101 South, mid-day, light scattered showers. 49'ers game in progress...good time to go by Candlestick (fuck 3COM). Sticking to the right lane, even when they disappear or merge into oncoming lanes. Have to honk my horn obnoxiously and repeatedly to wake up the clueless Sunday drivers.

Lots of stares, headturning and thumbs-up. So this what Harrod was saying about people's reactions to ArtCars!

Some swaying and unexpected lane changes due to the wind gusts. Slow down and take the rest of the way at an easy, low-sway and controllable 55.

A few more anxious moments when a CHP Caprice pulls up beside us, eyeballs The Mighty Heavy Towbar of Death, gives me a nod of "Your Lucky This Time, Santa Clown" and moves along.

OK, NOW we can burn that, Spanky.....

Arrived San Jose. One thing we didn't quit count on was the turning radius of our little train. Negotiating street corners would push out the rear wheels of the truck, moving us laterally. Some scary moments, especially when we got pushed towards parked cars. So we took REAL WIDE corners along a roundabout route, and finally arrived at WhipIt's new home in Willow Glen.

Seeing that we only had 15 minutes to get the Mighty Heavy Towbar of Death back to the rental office before they closed, we hastily disconnected the two vehicles, drove-like-Hell to Campbell, arrived at the office as the gates were being locked, finagled the proprietor (!!), got the 4-hour rate instead of the daily rate, grabbed some Newcastles from a nearby likker store, went back to my place.

Tomcat and I strongarmed WhipIt off the street and into the driveway. Grunting like oxes we pushed the CARcass to the back pad behind the house. There it can rest, FOR A LITTLE WHILE, in peace, along with the other old Detroit steel surrounding my enclave.

I think I'm getting old; my back is a little sore today, and I'm sure Tomcat's feeling some pain too, but we both felt great last night when WhipIt was safe and secure, and after we had a few more beers to celebrate our successful rescue of Deuce's most-prized possession.

WhipIt is safe! The neighbor's and Miss Dawn's reactions are already mixed, though; hopefully, we can get the distributor problem figured out soon and get her up & running and back to the AridZone-a where she belongs!

Having a retired ArtCar in the yard and an aching back is still better than watching the cops confiscate this sculpture, or crush it into a coffee table, or worse!

Long live ArtCars! Even dead ones!

Kippo the MagiClown, aka Bob-Billy Bodeen, Jr.