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What Would You Do for an Ice Cream Bar a Piece of Mojave Phone Booth Glass?


English Candy


This fine selection of English candy comes from Iain A., whose piece of the Booth will be accompanied by a fine and equally repugnant selection of Mexican confectionary delights.
This stuff is kind of like Lik-m-Aid, except that in place of Lik-m-Aid sticks (perhaps the best single candy taste in the world) we receive a rubbery, anise-flavored whip. Believe it. The powder was not Lik-m-Aid, being strange in taste and consistency.

The package illustrations were puzzling. Does aniseed cause gas? A quick visit with Mr. Webster reveals this: "aniseed n. used for flavoring and as a medicine for expelling intestinal gas."

Which explains the Englishness of Mr. Methane.

Things that are obscure:
  • Why these things are called "rocks"

  • Why anyone would make candy based on tobacco products

  • Why anyone would make candy based on alcohol ("Whiskey & Soda Flavour Rock")
Something that is clear:

Why one of the rocks is called "Margate Rock" (it's the home town of Iain).

Anatomy
More anatomy

(The wrapper is much sexier than the lollipop inside, which resembles the Cardiff Giant.)

Yet more anatomy
By their appearance I thought the red & white things were supposed to be hot dogs. The flavor was bready and kind of bland. Couldn't seem to find a part of the tongue that could really taste it. Turns out they are rhubarb. Rhubarb candy. Who thinks of this?

The stuff on the right is "sweet tobacco" (coconut candy). I haven't tried any of this.

Chewy fruit salad candy. Chewy "Bruiser" (black currant) candy. Chewy Black Jack -- more aniseed. Jump back!
Here's something familiar.
Humbugs: no clue about these.
"Quality Sweets."

Quality?

Just place your skepticism on the table and back away.

The red is pretty much like American ribbon candy, that stuff people throw away at Xmesstime, along with all those fruitcakes. Except these are clove-flavored. Morrissey probably eats them. The white I thought were pineapple, but Iain says they're "acid." I don't know what that means. I expected the orange to be orange flavored. Nope. Aniseed. Yep. More aniseed.

Englishman, thy name is Mr. Methane.

Nestle's white chocolate. Fairly normal, except for the computer-generated weirdo on the wrapper.

Wine Gums -- mild taste, but somewhat pungent odor. Sorry, fragrance.

Parma Violets -- vaguely lilac-tasting. Soapy. Soapy lilacs. Hey, great idea for a candy! It'll sell tons.

I don't understand the shape of these pink things. Shrimp? Don't know, but they have the spongy consistency of those squeaky orange peanuts we have here in the U.S.

(Not packing peanuts -- though some are now made with starch and aren't bad-tasting, really.)

Burger chain giveaway, presumably. (Logo blurred in the interests of public health.) The plastic container with the nifty opening was filled with these tiny O-shaped, orange-flavored candies. Not sugar, but aspartame. Ugh. (But, yeah, I ate 'em all, sure I did.)
I ate one of these. It was like a Whippy Dipp filled with truly repulsive powder.

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