Livin' in Joe's World (1998)
by Joe Patane
You have seen MTV's The Real World. Admit it. You have spent entire weekends watching marathon broadcasts of The Real World.
But have you ever been to Joe's World?
Not Joe's Apartment; that's another MTV creation, and Joe wants no more to do with MTV. Enjoy these excerpts from Joe's World:
I definitely lost my sense of reality being involved in this show.
I honestly feel that the show exploits young people without taking into account the ramifications and psychological impact the show has.
I thought I would be a positive role model for people of the so-called MTV generation. I wanted to use the show as a means to get my word out.
We were free at last from all the introductory tension and the wrath of Flora's stink eye.
In a dream, my love, / you will find my heart. -- I wish I wrote that, but it's from some song
I'm Joe Patane, the guy who dated five women simultaneously in high school, who all knew about each other and that I wouldn't commit to any of them.
I feel Nic's pain now. I couldn't believe she would do to me what I was doing to her and I can't imagine what it would be like to see it on camera. I hurt myself in hurting her, and I can't apologize much more than I have. I really messed up. Being referred to as the man is not cool to me anymore. It's foolish.
Brandon: I can say I'm sorry over and over again, but it won't take back or make better what I've done to you. I know now what it means to do the time.
Kelley: How would I know it wouldn't happen again?
Brandon: You wouldn't, it's just a leap you'd have to take ... I can't take it for you.
--- Beverly Hills, 90210, February 4, 1998
I write this book for therapeutic, constructive closure. I could make money and gain fame in much less painful ways if I really wanted to. Instead, I chose to self-analyze and renew myself. Nic thinks, at the time I write this, that I want the fame and I am guaranteed to be exploited again. I hope she is wrong.
I was excited about being on The Real World for the opportunity to bring up in conversation issues that affected young people, and I hoped I'd be able to set a good example. Well, that got messed up when the porn-star comment came up.
After that episode aired, I got an offer from a big adult-video magazine to share an eveing with any star, and all hell broke loose again. They wanted to take me out on the town with my favorite porn star, do a big interview, a photo shoot, the works.... I had my attorney call to see if it was for real, not to actually follow through on the offer, but to find out if they were for real and deny them if they were.
You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after the magazine called, but I pushed it one step further when I actually tried to make contact with a porn star who I was told had shown an interest in my character on the show. Thank goodness Nic was around to bust my chops and snap me back into reality.
I just want to shut my eyes and not see the place I've been. -- Brad Pitt, Sleepers
I've just learned how to accept that I sacrificed my personal freedom and privacy and I've gotta move on from it.
Don't mess up a relationship if you really love someone.
STARTING TO TEAR
How can I deny my love for you? [sic]
Your lips so sweet, my heart so new
I love, I care, I give my all
My darling sweetheart, hear my call
So alive are we
So shattered the rest
Many wonder why
I achieved the best ... you
Give in to love
Creation so real
The Lord above
Has made it feel ... true
Honesty, faith, respect, a dear heart
All ours in the shadows of lives once apart
But for now, I shout out, for all to adhere
Just leave Nic alone, she's starting to tear!
"I'm so glad I didn't marry this guy." -- Nic, Joe's former fiancee
Dan commented once, "Within five years, Joe will have written a book about something simply because he wanted to express his love to the rest of the world. It doesn't really matter what it's on; he'll just have written a book. It'll be a beautiful thing."
Sure thing, Dan.