Harley prearranged a signal: when he mentioned Arthur Godfrey, that would mean it was time for me to approach the stage.

We hung out at the back of the room with Louie, the East-coast guy who hawks Deadbolt merchandise (including naked chick playing card magnets -- but no Deuce of Clubs!). When he complained that people weren't "buying his way-uhs" [wares], we told him he needed to use a little salesmanship. His idea of salesmanship turned out to consist almost entirely of insult and intimidation. "Hey YOU! Punko! C'mere & buy some-a my way-uhs!" But it was effective -- the merchandise began to move off the table.

I told Louie of the night's skull-shearing plans. Louie thought about that for a while. "I wouldn't let Harley do that," he said finally.

It wasn't until almost 2 a.m. that Harley was heard mumbling over the P.A. something about Arthur Godfrey. We moved to the front and Deadbolt launched into "Watongo," which includes the refrain:

One day you'll turn around
Watongo will be there,
Holding a hippy's severed head
By the hair!
At the end of the song, Harley accused me of heckling (there had been a fair amount, as is typical at a Deadbolt show) & dared me to come up on stage.
We got into an altercation, which was interrupted by 3rd Degree Burns, who lopped off the back of my hair with the Giant Voodoo Scissors. (I'd brought battery-powered clippers, but the Bar Deluxe manager was having a hissy 'cos it was closing time.)
I staggered back into the crowd with my sheared hair in my hands.

After the show, this California-type put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Dooood! That SUX that they did that to yew!"

"I know!" I said. "Let's go kick their asses!"

Don't believe anyone would fall for the gag?
Below is a gullible post from the Deadbolt bulletin board
(followed by the responses it generated):


A Dead Bolt Experience......
Posted by Tedbolt on December 29, 1998 at 00:58:01:

Setting: A smoky Bar Deluxe.

Experience: Dead Bolt has taken the stage. The doorman has made one fatal mistake....letting in a HIPPIE.

Dead Bolt was angry but the hippie wouldn't listen. He had to open his stupid mouth just one more time ( a time he'll regret forever) He was called to the stage by 3rd degree burns and then it happened.... Harly stated talking to the confused hippie; all of a sudden I saw something shiny in 3rd degree burns' hand. In a flash some of the hippies hair was gone; it had been cut by a pair of sheers. The lesson in all of this:

When Dead Bolt tell you to " SHUT THE FUCK UP " you all better listen.

THE END


Re: A Dead Bolt Experience......
Posted by dr cliff on December 29, 1998 at 07:55:05:

Yeah, I was at that show where the hippie got a chunk of his hair cut off. That's really a violation of someone's personal space. It's one thing to ACT like a wise-as tough guy, and it's another thing entirely to physically attack someone. Most musicians were in the high school band, so it's hardly likely that anyone in Deadbolt really IS a hard-ass.

There is a recent body of performers who can't distinguish between themselves, and the persona they create while entertaining. This is often linked to watching large doses of tv news, or cartoons.

Modern psychotherapists can initiate 'gemination therapy', where the stage persona and the actual (often defective) personality are slowly dissected apart. Then the personality problems can be treated.

When Deadbolt says "Shut the fuck up", remind them that you used to take their lunch money.


Re: A Dead Bolt Experience......
Posted by Brody Culpepper on December 29, 1998 at 20:08:39:

Hey, I was there at the L.A. show too. Aside from the hippie, there were way too many phony hipsters. Among all of the Fonzie Wannabees and the Bettie Page-alikes, only Deadbolt stood out as the genuine article. And boy did they turn those guitars into magma. And that freakin' hippie really had it coming to him. Some wise-ass granola-chewin' nature freak shouldn't be flauntin' his girlyhead at an ass-kickin' show like this. I tell you, Deadbolt went easy on the guy. Had it been a show in Vegas or Tucson, that hippie would have found himself six-deep in the desert. That's why I pack heat at every Deadbolt show.


Re: A Dead Bolt Experience......
Posted by HRG on December 30, 1998 at 16:48:16:

>That's really a violation of someone's personal space.

The hippie community thanks you Dr., Who else will stick up for things like "Personal Space" at Deadbolt shows! I'll remember that next time I'M at BarDelux... "You are Violating My Personal Space dorkabilly, please get your hairy hand off my ass"

I'm curious to know what "recent body of performers" you are talking about, other than DB of course... Possibly The Go-Nuts taking their love of snack food's too far... or maybe The Headcoats, wearing their headcoats on sunny days even.

Talking out your ass is an art good Doctor, and you are using crayons.

I'm the wise ass here,

Hot Rod Grrl


Holding a severed hippie's head by the . . .
Posted by Steev Strange on December 30, 1998 at 21:00:18:

You all sound like a bunch of posers to me, indentifying with the music is one thing, understanding it is another. AND if you're packing heat at the PACNW tour, be ready for the drano . . .


Want more about Deadbolt?
There's Who is Cockeye?, Deadbolt in Yuma, and Deadbolt at the Doll Hut