Deuce of Clubs Book Club: Books of the Weak

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski

Guy Debord: Revolutionary

No Place to Hide

Command of Office

The Christ-Myth Theory And Its Problems

The Christian Delusion

Lincoln's Wrath

How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex

Bossypants

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

Catching the Big Fish

Dig Infinity

The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones

Crazy for God

Basin and Range

Anarchy Evolution

The File

John Ringo

The Supremes

End the Fed

Burning Book

The Hohokam Millenium

God's Middle Finger

Narcocorrido

In Heaven Everything Is Fine

The Shunning

Wisdom Sits in Places

The Marvelous Country

Hamilton's Curse

The Secret Life of Houdini

The Trouble with Being Born

Schulz and Peanuts

First Into Nagasaki

Joe Miller's Jests

Human Smoke

Dirty Tricks Cops Use

A Futile and Stupid Gesture

All For A Few Perfect Waves

Systemantics

Death in the Desert

American Signs

Secret Proceedings and Debates of the Constitutional Convention

Secrets Of A Stingy Scoundrel

The Self-Made Tapestry

A Constitutional History of Secession

The Neurotic's Notebook

Interrogation Machine

Monster Midway

The Harlot by the Side of the Road

Forced Into Glory

Imperial Life in the Emerald City

J. G. Ballard: Quotes

The Compleat Practical Joker

Laugh with Hugh Troy

Pranks!

A Liar's Autobiography

Cobb

Chasing Rainbows

Letters from Tucson, 1925-1927

The Five Fosters

The Giant Cactus Forest and Its World

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker

World Famous Cults & Fanatics

That's Not All, Folks!

God's Problem

Will Christ Return By 1988?

Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology

The Whiskey Rebellion

FDR's Folly

Wilson's War

Bully Boy

[If] I Did It

The Dark Side

Secret Origins of the Bible

Godless

The End of Faith

Why I Became An Atheist

"Life's Calendar for 1922"

Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War

The Negro Cowboys

EXPECT RESISTANCE

Monty Python Speaks

Baseball Between the Numbers

The Psychopath's Bible

Satisfaction

J. G. Ballard: Conversations

Days of War, Nights of Love

Gospel Fictions and Who Wrote the Gospels?

The Real Deadwood

Deadwood

The Revolution: A Manifesto

45

The Secret Man

Stormin' Mormon

From Psyche to Soma

I'll Gather My Geese

The Osama bin Laden I Know

Alias "Paine"

A Man Without Words

The Wild Trees

The World Without Us

Arizona's Changing Rivers

The Phoenix Indian School

Realm of the Long Eyes

John Dillinger: The Life and Death of America's First Celebrity Criminal

Buckey O'Neill: The Story of a Rough Rider

Thanks For Tuning In

Adventures in the Apache Country

Waylon: An Autobiography

My Life: Sunrise to Sunset

Mimes and Miners: A Historical Study of the Theater in Tombstone

The First 100 Years: A History of Arizona Blacks

Enter Without Knocking

City in the Sun: The Japanese Concentration Camp at Poston, Arizona

House by the Buckeye Road

Vanished Arizona

The Big Con

The Astronomy Cafe and Back to the Astronomy Cafe

A Handbook on Hanging

The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right

A Mind Restored

Mr. Show: What Happened?!

Reclaiming the American Revolution

Stumbling On Happiness

Treasure Maps of the Superstitions

Sunny Slope

Did Genesis Man Conquer Space?

Look Homeward, America

Radicals for Capitalism

Kayaker's Little Book of Wisdom

God Is Not Great

The Echoing Green

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll

K Foundation Burn a Million Quid

The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes and The Tao of Willie

Just Six Numbers and Our Cosmic Habitat

Wild Goose Chronicles

Behind Bars: Surviving Prison

Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce

The Gang They Couldn't Catch

Manhunt

A History of the End of the World

Al Sieber: Chief of Scouts

Apaches & Longhorns

Deep Survival

Captured

DINO

Sock

Bo: Pitching & Wooing

You Are Worthless

You And Your Hand

Access All Areas

Field Guide to the Apocalypse

The War on Terrorism

Those Idiots From Earth

September 11: An Oral History

Mortal Questions

The Heresy of Self-Love

The White Flag Principle

Medieval Panorama

An Honest President

Those Words

À rebours

Peterson's Incident Report Book

Boo! Culture, Experience, and the Startle Reflex

Victory Denied

Nothing, Arizona

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion

O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto

DOME COMPENDIUM OF TOPICAL TREATMENT IN PROCTOLOGY

¿Hablas conmigo

Thirty-three Candles

Black Monk Time

Men of Distinction

Alexander the Corrector

Space Viking

Mark These Men

Hallucinogenic Plants

Prohibition: An Adventure in Freedom

JESUS! He's Our President

LOVE

How to Watch Football on Television

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

Lincoln: The Man and The Car

Whatever Men Know About Women

Biographies of Italian War Heroes

ABC of Espionage

Art Colony Perverts

Devil-ution

Starting Right with Bees

Planet Earth is a Cult

Baseball Letters

Fetish

Dopey Doings

Democracy: The God That Failed

Handgrenade Talk

Hi, How Are You?

het zingen van het ijs

The Museum of Jurassic Technology Jubilee Catalogue

The Rector and the Rogue

Colorful Cacti of the American Deserts

Odd Jobs: The World of Deviant Work

The Hungry Man's Outdoor Grill Cookbook

How to Get Invited to the White House

How to Work for a Jerk

Never Work for a Jerk!

The Mentality of Apes

Your Vigor for Life Appalls Me

Dr. Strange: Sorceror Supreme

Nautical Notions for Nibbling

A Short Introduction to the History of Human Stupidity

The Fake Revolt

Coup D'Etat

History of the Town of Felicity

Hood of Death

Dolls' House Bathrooms: Lots of Little Loos

Border Security / Anti-Infiltration Operations

Living on Light

God is for Real, Man

Did the Apostle Paul Visit Britain?

Twin Peaks

2001

Power Phrases

The Truth About Wagner

The Life of the Bee

Tombstone

Science Looks at Smoking

The Chiricahuas

The New Dark Ages Conspiracy

The Big Question

Everybody's Book of Epitaphs

The Death of the Fuhrer

Mindfuckers

Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?

The World's Worst Poet

Alyssa Milano: She's the Boss

Home is the Desert

Nine Lives: From Stripper to Schoolteacher

How to Start Your Own Country

How to Found Your Own Religion

Sex Objects in the Sky

Indian Oratory

Bastard Without Portfolio

The Bedside Book of Bastards

Hopeless -- Yet There Is Hope

Bible in Pocket, Gun in Hand

Margie Asks WHY

Death of a Hippie

Wake Up or Blow Up

Feeling and Form

Guilt

A Mile in His Moccasins

Mojave Desert Ramblings

Passing of the Outhouse

This Way to Happiness

The Happy Life

Young Only Once

The Monkey Gland Affair

Bert Bacharach's Book for Men

The Two Babylons

For Good and Evil: The Impact of Taxes...

Why Christians Crack Up!

Why Do Christians Break Down?

Hava Nagila!

Beethoven or Bust

How to Abandon Ship

Livin' in Joe's World

The Last Democrat

Salvation Mountain

The Varmint and Crow Hunter's Bible

Love in the Western World

Jack the Ripper: Light-Hearted Friend

Little Men of the NFL

No One May Ever Have The Same Knowledge Again

The Secret Museum of Mankind

James Bond's World of Values

We Did Not Plummet Into Space

The Boy Who Didn't Believe IN CHRISTMAS

The Great Escape From Your Dead-End Job

All About Tipping

My Loser Godfrey

A Haircut in Horse Town

Mucusless Diet Healing System

Jefferson Returns

Lincoln Returns

Churchill Returns

Corporation Freak

Null Bock auf DDR

So You're Going on a Mission?

Nudes in My Camera

Why I Hate the Nazis

Flesh, Metal & Glass

The James Beard Cookbook

Mortal Refrains

Deadbolt

Amy Grant: A Biography

The X Cars

We Were Five

Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder

Hello ... Wrong Number

I'll Kill You Next!

Murder in Vegas

Did MAN Just Happen?

Terror at the Atlanta Olympics

Criswell Predicts

Your Next Ten Years

They Pay Me to Catch Footballs

The Phantom Menace

Just For Fellows

The Lopsided Gal

Astrology and Horse Racing

The Cokesbury Stunt Book

The Origin of Things

Remarks on the History of Things

U.S. Government Sewing Book

Funeral Tributes II

Blinky, the Friendly Hen

The Serbs Choose War

My Mystery Castle

Iggy

Funeral Customs the World Over

The Right to be Let Alone

Mormonism and the Negro

The Church and the Negro

Preacher with a Billy Club

Fighting Parson of the Old West

Invisibility: Mastering the Art of Vanishing

How to Disappear Completely

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man

Langenscheidts Konversationsbuch

Marlene Dietrich's ABC

The Bible in the Hands of Its Creators


Kayaker's Little Book of Wisdom

Corran Addison (1998)

 

3. It's only water. When everything goes to hell, keep things in perspective.

9. Never paddle on flooded rivers. All kinds of debris is coming down, and trees are a real concern.

10. Paddling flooded rivers is the ultimate rush. Use extreme caution.

17. Every time you leave the lights on, they build another dam and a river dies.

26. Don't be afraid to chuck everything and go on an extended paddling vacation. You can always restart.

28. If you have more money than time, your priorities are backward.

31. Never paddle alone.

33. The price you pay for a helmet is directly related to what you think your head is worth.

34. Sometimes you need to break the rules and paddle alone.

37. Offer to take a photo of the trip photographer. After all, he went everywhere you did.

44. Everyone needs to get stranded in a cold canyon in the middle of the night with no food or water.

45. If it happens a second time, you're not thinking.

47. My worst days are more exciting than most peoples' best. That choice is also yours.

58. Date a masseuse. You're a sportsman, right?

67. In your kayak, there is always the faint hope of recovery. Out of it, you are at the mercy of the river.

85. Adrenaline is the greatest drug of all. Administer as needed.

86. If you make the same mistake twice, you're not thinking.

87. You learn from your mistakes. Make lots of them.

97. If you are poor, you can't afford to replace second-rate equipment, so buy only the best money can get.

100. If everything runs smoothly, then it's not an adventure.

108. If you want to kayak for a living, don't expect to make a fortune.

109. If you kayak for a living, a single digit annual income is a fortune.

121. The definition of a successful expedition is: a disaster you wouldn't have missed for anything in the world.

122. There is nothing wrong with "Kodak courage."

123. Don't get killed over a photo. Your mother prefers the real thing.

141. If you are having more fun than someone else, don't rub it in. Take them with you.

150. Don't just sit and watch the worst happen. The least you can do is help it happen.

162. True adventure is when you have to break the ice off your wet suit in the morning.

175. I love to say, "I'll worry about it when I get there." Usually I end up worrying.

180. Own a piece of junk so that others will volunteer to drive.

190. Take your boss and his family rafting. Guide the boat yourself and show them a good time. It's a cheap trick, but it works.

191. If you are a lousy guide, take his main competitor instead.

196. The Russians use pig bladders wrapped in canvas, framed with saplings cut at the put-in, and cork for life vests. Be thankful for free enterprise next time you complain about the cost of equipment.

205. If a good day seems like it is lasting forever, drag it out some more.

222. People die. Better in their boats than in a car wreck. Move on and enjoy yourself.

234. Lie to everyone else about your abilities, but never yourself.

241. Never lend your equipment to others. Always know its exact history for safety reasons.

242. Never rely on your equipment if you don't know its history.

243. If that person you want a date with needs to borrow your stuff, go for it.

244. You cannot escape your problems on the river, but it is a great place to solve them.

251. Trees are bad news. Stay away from them at all costs.

252. Paddle into a big hole that you are scared of. You will be surprised at how fun it can be (in a twisted sort of way).

254. Not until you have been on an expedition with them, will you know who, and what, your friends really are.

271. We'd still live in caves without duct tape. Always have some handy.

277. You can never teach too many women to paddle. This sport is 90% male dominated.

279. A river trip is also a road trip. Expect the adventure to start when you turn the engine on.

285. Don't fight the river. You won't win. Out-think it.

288. "If you are broke, borrow $2 from four friends. They'll never ask for it back, and you'll get a meal." — Lee Bonfigleo, 1993 Freestyle World Championship finalist

294. Beware the "Fascination of the abomination!" When everything goes wrong in your boat, do something.

296. Will you look back on your life and say "I did too much," or "I wish I had done more"?

299. Don't always talk about boating. You'll become a bore.

304. Go snorkeling below a rapid that many people swim. You'll be surprised by the treasures that lie below.

308. An ender is an ender, but does it count if no one sees it?

309. Paddle with a group, but ignore them so that you can be alone.

319. "It's time for another mind game." — Dennis Rodman, Chicago Bulls

323. It is better to regret having done something than to regret not having done it.

327. Only your best friends leave their smelly gear, candy wrappers and gas tab for you to deal with.

328. What are friends for?

341. The easiest way to recognize a canoeist from a kayaker is by the size of the life jacket indicating the high swim to paddle ratio. Canoeing is very hard.


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