Deuce of Clubs Book Club: Books of the Weak

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski

Guy Debord: Revolutionary

No Place to Hide

Command of Office

The Christ-Myth Theory And Its Problems

The Christian Delusion

Lincoln's Wrath

How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex

Bossypants

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

Catching the Big Fish

Dig Infinity

The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones

Crazy for God

Basin and Range

Anarchy Evolution

The File

John Ringo

The Supremes

End the Fed

Burning Book

The Hohokam Millenium

God's Middle Finger

Narcocorrido

In Heaven Everything Is Fine

The Shunning

Wisdom Sits in Places

The Marvelous Country

Hamilton's Curse

The Secret Life of Houdini

The Trouble with Being Born

Schulz and Peanuts

First Into Nagasaki

Joe Miller's Jests

Human Smoke

Dirty Tricks Cops Use

A Futile and Stupid Gesture

All For A Few Perfect Waves

Systemantics

Death in the Desert

American Signs

Secret Proceedings and Debates of the Constitutional Convention

Secrets Of A Stingy Scoundrel

The Self-Made Tapestry

A Constitutional History of Secession

The Neurotic's Notebook

Interrogation Machine

Monster Midway

The Harlot by the Side of the Road

Forced Into Glory

Imperial Life in the Emerald City

J. G. Ballard: Quotes

The Compleat Practical Joker

Laugh with Hugh Troy

Pranks!

A Liar's Autobiography

Cobb

Chasing Rainbows

Letters from Tucson, 1925-1927

The Five Fosters

The Giant Cactus Forest and Its World

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker

World Famous Cults & Fanatics

That's Not All, Folks!

God's Problem

Will Christ Return By 1988?

Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology

The Whiskey Rebellion

FDR's Folly

Wilson's War

Bully Boy

[If] I Did It

The Dark Side

Secret Origins of the Bible

Godless

The End of Faith

Why I Became An Atheist

"Life's Calendar for 1922"

Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War

The Negro Cowboys

EXPECT RESISTANCE

Monty Python Speaks

Baseball Between the Numbers

The Psychopath's Bible

Satisfaction

J. G. Ballard: Conversations

Days of War, Nights of Love

Gospel Fictions and Who Wrote the Gospels?

The Real Deadwood

Deadwood

The Revolution: A Manifesto

45

The Secret Man

Stormin' Mormon

From Psyche to Soma

I'll Gather My Geese

The Osama bin Laden I Know

Alias "Paine"

A Man Without Words

The Wild Trees

The World Without Us

Arizona's Changing Rivers

The Phoenix Indian School

Realm of the Long Eyes

John Dillinger: The Life and Death of America's First Celebrity Criminal

Buckey O'Neill: The Story of a Rough Rider

Thanks For Tuning In

Adventures in the Apache Country

Waylon: An Autobiography

My Life: Sunrise to Sunset

Mimes and Miners: A Historical Study of the Theater in Tombstone

The First 100 Years: A History of Arizona Blacks

Enter Without Knocking

City in the Sun: The Japanese Concentration Camp at Poston, Arizona

House by the Buckeye Road

Vanished Arizona

The Big Con

The Astronomy Cafe and Back to the Astronomy Cafe

A Handbook on Hanging

The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right

A Mind Restored

Mr. Show: What Happened?!

Reclaiming the American Revolution

Stumbling On Happiness

Treasure Maps of the Superstitions

Sunny Slope

Did Genesis Man Conquer Space?

Look Homeward, America

Radicals for Capitalism

Kayaker's Little Book of Wisdom

God Is Not Great

The Echoing Green

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll

K Foundation Burn a Million Quid

The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes and The Tao of Willie

Just Six Numbers and Our Cosmic Habitat

Wild Goose Chronicles

Behind Bars: Surviving Prison

Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce

The Gang They Couldn't Catch

Manhunt

A History of the End of the World

Al Sieber: Chief of Scouts

Apaches & Longhorns

Deep Survival

Captured

DINO

Sock

Bo: Pitching & Wooing

You Are Worthless

You And Your Hand

Access All Areas

Field Guide to the Apocalypse

The War on Terrorism

Those Idiots From Earth

September 11: An Oral History

Mortal Questions

The Heresy of Self-Love

The White Flag Principle

Medieval Panorama

An Honest President

Those Words

À rebours

Peterson's Incident Report Book

Boo! Culture, Experience, and the Startle Reflex

Victory Denied

Nothing, Arizona

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion

O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto

DOME COMPENDIUM OF TOPICAL TREATMENT IN PROCTOLOGY

¿Hablas conmigo

Thirty-three Candles

Black Monk Time

Men of Distinction

Alexander the Corrector

Space Viking

Mark These Men

Hallucinogenic Plants

Prohibition: An Adventure in Freedom

JESUS! He's Our President

LOVE

How to Watch Football on Television

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

Lincoln: The Man and The Car

Whatever Men Know About Women

Biographies of Italian War Heroes

ABC of Espionage

Art Colony Perverts

Devil-ution

Starting Right with Bees

Planet Earth is a Cult

Baseball Letters

Fetish

Dopey Doings

Democracy: The God That Failed

Handgrenade Talk

Hi, How Are You?

het zingen van het ijs

The Museum of Jurassic Technology Jubilee Catalogue

The Rector and the Rogue

Colorful Cacti of the American Deserts

Odd Jobs: The World of Deviant Work

The Hungry Man's Outdoor Grill Cookbook

How to Get Invited to the White House

How to Work for a Jerk

Never Work for a Jerk!

The Mentality of Apes

Your Vigor for Life Appalls Me

Dr. Strange: Sorceror Supreme

Nautical Notions for Nibbling

A Short Introduction to the History of Human Stupidity

The Fake Revolt

Coup D'Etat

History of the Town of Felicity

Hood of Death

Dolls' House Bathrooms: Lots of Little Loos

Border Security / Anti-Infiltration Operations

Living on Light

God is for Real, Man

Did the Apostle Paul Visit Britain?

Twin Peaks

2001

Power Phrases

The Truth About Wagner

The Life of the Bee

Tombstone

Science Looks at Smoking

The Chiricahuas

The New Dark Ages Conspiracy

The Big Question

Everybody's Book of Epitaphs

The Death of the Fuhrer

Mindfuckers

Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?

The World's Worst Poet

Alyssa Milano: She's the Boss

Home is the Desert

Nine Lives: From Stripper to Schoolteacher

How to Start Your Own Country

How to Found Your Own Religion

Sex Objects in the Sky

Indian Oratory

Bastard Without Portfolio

The Bedside Book of Bastards

Hopeless -- Yet There Is Hope

Bible in Pocket, Gun in Hand

Margie Asks WHY

Death of a Hippie

Wake Up or Blow Up

Feeling and Form

Guilt

A Mile in His Moccasins

Mojave Desert Ramblings

Passing of the Outhouse

This Way to Happiness

The Happy Life

Young Only Once

The Monkey Gland Affair

Bert Bacharach's Book for Men

The Two Babylons

For Good and Evil: The Impact of Taxes...

Why Christians Crack Up!

Why Do Christians Break Down?

Hava Nagila!

Beethoven or Bust

How to Abandon Ship

Livin' in Joe's World

The Last Democrat

Salvation Mountain

The Varmint and Crow Hunter's Bible

Love in the Western World

Jack the Ripper: Light-Hearted Friend

Little Men of the NFL

No One May Ever Have The Same Knowledge Again

The Secret Museum of Mankind

James Bond's World of Values

We Did Not Plummet Into Space

The Boy Who Didn't Believe IN CHRISTMAS

The Great Escape From Your Dead-End Job

All About Tipping

My Loser Godfrey

A Haircut in Horse Town

Mucusless Diet Healing System

Jefferson Returns

Lincoln Returns

Churchill Returns

Corporation Freak

Null Bock auf DDR

So You're Going on a Mission?

Nudes in My Camera

Why I Hate the Nazis

Flesh, Metal & Glass

The James Beard Cookbook

Mortal Refrains

Deadbolt

Amy Grant: A Biography

The X Cars

We Were Five

Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder

Hello ... Wrong Number

I'll Kill You Next!

Murder in Vegas

Did MAN Just Happen?

Terror at the Atlanta Olympics

Criswell Predicts

Your Next Ten Years

They Pay Me to Catch Footballs

The Phantom Menace

Just For Fellows

The Lopsided Gal

Astrology and Horse Racing

The Cokesbury Stunt Book

The Origin of Things

Remarks on the History of Things

U.S. Government Sewing Book

Funeral Tributes II

Blinky, the Friendly Hen

The Serbs Choose War

My Mystery Castle

Iggy

Funeral Customs the World Over

The Right to be Let Alone

Mormonism and the Negro

The Church and the Negro

Preacher with a Billy Club

Fighting Parson of the Old West

Invisibility: Mastering the Art of Vanishing

How to Disappear Completely

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man

Langenscheidts Konversationsbuch

Marlene Dietrich's ABC

The Bible in the Hands of Its Creators


Bo: Pitching and Wooing

Maury Allen (1973)

 

The book that introduced "rah-rah, gee-whiz bullshit" into a young boy's vocabulary. That wasn't its only enduring effect.

"I kept myself loose," he said. "No gangs, no cliques, just me, ready to move wherever I wanted. I could fly the way the crow flies. Looking back I didn't want it any other way. What the hell for, for a lot of rah-rah, gee-whiz bullshit? That's why I never played on the high school baseball team. Too much gee-whiz bullshit and girls jumping up in their skirts with no panties on just to drive you wacky." Belinsky survived in school. It was a lot of gee-whiz bullshit so he never was thrilled with the learning process. (16)

Belinsky had his first hustle. "It's all psychology," Belinsky says. It's an ego thing. A guy beats you and he isn't sure just how good you are.He has to know. He has to beat you again and again and again. Soon you know it's going to be a freezeout, that's what you're after. That's when the whole thing is on the line, that's when you beat him for all his money. But you can't make it too obvious. You gotta remember the laws of hustling. You never hustle anybody, they hustle themselves. You never try to snow a snowman. And you gotta find out early if there is an exit to the street through the bathroom. Nothing does you any good if you don't carry it out of the hall." (21)

"There was an air of excitement to scamming. A scammer who can make a hundred dollars legit would always rather make twenty-five scamming," Belinsky says. (25)

Belinsky moved into a place called Ernie's House of Surface, a swinging spot along the beach. It was highly recommended by several of his teammates . . . who told Bo it had one of the best bars in the league. (78)

["Ernie's House of Surface"??? I'd NEVER move out.]

Things became to hectic for Bo at Ernie's House of Surface, so he started looking around for a more impressive apartment. (92)

No-hit baseball pitchers are never again nonpersons. (89)

[Au contraire, mon sportswriter]

"I was young, I was strong, I was healthy. The whole thing was a ball. I only had one rule about these broads, they had to come highly recommended. I wouldn't take out a broad without checking her references. Most of the times the broads I dated all were touted by friends of mine. Hollywood agents, directors, producers, friends of Winchell, newspaper people, guys like that, responsible, serious people." (119)

[Belinsky's scouting report on Tina Louise:]

"Big redhead, great body, great legs, very sweet girl. She wasn't doing well in the movies at that time so any extra publicity she could get would help her out. She turned out to be a real nice girl, not domineering, and I enjoyed being with her. She had been to Europe a great deal and had a continental flair about her. It was nice. I really enjoyed being with her. She was equally comfortable in the society scene or down in the roughneck places with me. She was a good broadie." (120)

In late August the dream ended. Bo was recalled to the Angels.
"Everybody thinks the major leagues are such a big deal. If you have a good spot in the minors, it's not B.A.D. There are a lot worse things you can do than play baseball in Hawaii. When the Angels called me back, I was depressed. For a long while I considered not reporting to them."
(132)

"There are a lot more things in life I want to do," said Koufax. "I don't want to do them as a sore-armed person."
"I knew I'd make him quit," said Belinsky. "Los Angeles just wasn't big enough for both of us."
(208)

[Sandy Koufax: 165-87, 2.65 ERA, first-ballot Hall-of-Famer, 1971;
Bo Belinsky: 28-51, 4.10 ERA]

"What would you consider a good year?"
"Just to last the entire season," Bo said, "would be slightly sensational."
It was a typical Belinsky response. He never reached for the stars because there were so many disappointments if one were to reach and fail.
(215)

[Bo's wife, 1965 Playboy Playmate of the Year, on her possibly Apocalypse Now-inspiring trip to Vietnam:]

The 173rd was stationed on a hill called Black Virgin Mountain. Naturally. They flew me up there to see them. They had three helicopters for our group and they had covered the front of them with huge bunny heads." (238)

"There were more than ten thousand soldiers waiting for me when I arrived. They screamed and whistled and yelled. It almost brought tears to my eyes. The mascot of the outfit was a water buffalo and the first thing they did was present me with this huge water buffalo skull. That's got to freak me out right there." . . . Jo spent the next several days touring the front in Vietnam, where it could be found. (238)

"I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do. I figured I would land something. I had a lot of friends. I found out about that too. My friends sure did disappear when I was washed out of baseball. I was a good guy for them when my name was in the paper. All of a sudden I was nobody and they had some other young pitcher they liked. They're like broads. If you trust them, they'll cut your balls off and leave you in the street." (269)

Belinsky has always seemed happiest when he was around L.A. The phonies of Hollywood were his kind of people. He liked the idea of acting all the time. Hollywood was a good place for somebody who didn't work. Most of the people in Hollywood didn't work. He would fit right in. (272)

"Helen's a hooker by trade and works at night. She is home for coffee and service by day. It is what I need. We dig each other. She has been divorced, has kids someplace, can understand the complications and complexities of a man in trouble with his head. It is nice." (293)

"I look back now and I can't even remember anybody I hated," he said. "I manage to get amnesia over those." (296)

"I'll get in the Hall of Fame because I gave up some big home runs to some big guys. I think of that now with a guy like Hank Aaron. He's driving on Babe Ruth's 714 and I gave him number 400. He came around the bases and I tipped my hat to him and he smiled. The next time I faced him I drilled him in the ribs. I tipped my hat to him again." (296)

Belinsky laughs now when he thinks of the success of two-time MVP Johnny Bench.
"When I was with Cincinnati he was a punky kid," he said. "He puts on that goody-goody image and he's trying to hustle every broad. He tried to hustle Jo and she wasn't the only one. He used to carry around a
Playboy magazine with Jo's picture in it and let the centerfold hang out and drag it around. Real kid shit. He was a smart ass. You watch. There's no way he'll be able to handle success." (297)

[Johnny Bench: 17 major-league seasons (1967-83); 2,048 hits, including 389 home runs; first-ballot Hall-of-Famer, 1989]

 

 

Bo Belinsky

07dec1936 -- 23nov2001
R.I.P.

 

 

 

Addendum: nice jacket design, there, Wendell Minor. 1972 Topps, much?

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