To Deuce of Clubs index page Deuce of Clubs Book Club: Books of the Weak

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski

Guy Debord: Revolutionary

No Place to Hide

Command of Office

The Christ-Myth Theory And Its Problems

The Christian Delusion

Lincoln's Wrath

How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex

Bossypants

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

Catching the Big Fish

Dig Infinity

The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones

Crazy for God

Basin and Range

Anarchy Evolution

The File

John Ringo

The Supremes

End the Fed

Burning Book

The Hohokam Millenium

God's Middle Finger

Narcocorrido

In Heaven Everything Is Fine

The Shunning

Wisdom Sits in Places

The Marvelous Country

Hamilton's Curse

The Secret Life of Houdini

The Trouble with Being Born

Schulz and Peanuts

First Into Nagasaki

Joe Miller's Jests

Human Smoke

Dirty Tricks Cops Use

A Futile and Stupid Gesture

All For A Few Perfect Waves

Systemantics

Death in the Desert

American Signs

Secret Proceedings and Debates of the Constitutional Convention

Secrets Of A Stingy Scoundrel

The Self-Made Tapestry

A Constitutional History of Secession

The Neurotic's Notebook

Interrogation Machine

Monster Midway

The Harlot by the Side of the Road

Forced Into Glory

Imperial Life in the Emerald City

J. G. Ballard: Quotes

The Compleat Practical Joker

Laugh with Hugh Troy

Pranks!

A Liar's Autobiography

Cobb

Chasing Rainbows

Letters from Tucson, 1925-1927

The Five Fosters

The Giant Cactus Forest and Its World

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker

World Famous Cults & Fanatics

That's Not All, Folks!

God's Problem

Will Christ Return By 1988?

Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology

The Whiskey Rebellion

FDR's Folly

Wilson's War

Bully Boy

[If] I Did It

The Dark Side

Secret Origins of the Bible

Godless

The End of Faith

Why I Became An Atheist

"Life's Calendar for 1922"

Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War

The Negro Cowboys

EXPECT RESISTANCE

Monty Python Speaks

Baseball Between the Numbers

The Psychopath's Bible

Satisfaction

J. G. Ballard: Conversations

Days of War, Nights of Love

Gospel Fictions and Who Wrote the Gospels?

The Real Deadwood

Deadwood

The Revolution: A Manifesto

45

The Secret Man

Stormin' Mormon

From Psyche to Soma

I'll Gather My Geese

The Osama bin Laden I Know

Alias "Paine"

A Man Without Words

The Wild Trees

The World Without Us

Arizona's Changing Rivers

The Phoenix Indian School

Realm of the Long Eyes

John Dillinger: The Life and Death of America's First Celebrity Criminal

Buckey O'Neill: The Story of a Rough Rider

Thanks For Tuning In

Adventures in the Apache Country

Waylon: An Autobiography

My Life: Sunrise to Sunset

Mimes and Miners: A Historical Study of the Theater in Tombstone

The First 100 Years: A History of Arizona Blacks

Enter Without Knocking

City in the Sun: The Japanese Concentration Camp at Poston, Arizona

House by the Buckeye Road

Vanished Arizona

The Big Con

The Astronomy Cafe and Back to the Astronomy Cafe

A Handbook on Hanging

The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right

A Mind Restored

Mr. Show: What Happened?!

Reclaiming the American Revolution

Stumbling On Happiness

Treasure Maps of the Superstitions

Sunny Slope

Did Genesis Man Conquer Space?

Look Homeward, America

Radicals for Capitalism

Kayaker's Little Book of Wisdom

God Is Not Great

The Echoing Green

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll

K Foundation Burn a Million Quid

The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes and The Tao of Willie

Just Six Numbers and Our Cosmic Habitat

Wild Goose Chronicles

Behind Bars: Surviving Prison

Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce

The Gang They Couldn't Catch

Manhunt

A History of the End of the World

Al Sieber: Chief of Scouts

Apaches & Longhorns

Deep Survival

Captured

DINO

Sock

Bo: Pitching & Wooing

You Are Worthless

You And Your Hand

Access All Areas

Field Guide to the Apocalypse

The War on Terrorism

Those Idiots From Earth

September 11: An Oral History

Mortal Questions

The Heresy of Self-Love

The White Flag Principle

Medieval Panorama

An Honest President

Those Words

À rebours

Peterson's Incident Report Book

Boo! Culture, Experience, and the Startle Reflex

Victory Denied

Nothing, Arizona

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion

O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto

DOME COMPENDIUM OF TOPICAL TREATMENT IN PROCTOLOGY

¿Hablas conmigo

Thirty-three Candles

Black Monk Time

Men of Distinction

Alexander the Corrector

Space Viking

Mark These Men

Hallucinogenic Plants

Prohibition: An Adventure in Freedom

JESUS! He's Our President

LOVE

How to Watch Football on Television

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

Lincoln: The Man and The Car

Whatever Men Know About Women

Biographies of Italian War Heroes

ABC of Espionage

Art Colony Perverts

Devil-ution

Starting Right with Bees

Planet Earth is a Cult

Baseball Letters

Fetish

Dopey Doings

Democracy: The God That Failed

Handgrenade Talk

Hi, How Are You?

het zingen van het ijs

The Museum of Jurassic Technology Jubilee Catalogue

The Rector and the Rogue

Colorful Cacti of the American Deserts

Odd Jobs: The World of Deviant Work

The Hungry Man's Outdoor Grill Cookbook

How to Get Invited to the White House

How to Work for a Jerk

Never Work for a Jerk!

The Mentality of Apes

Your Vigor for Life Appalls Me

Dr. Strange: Sorceror Supreme

Nautical Notions for Nibbling

A Short Introduction to the History of Human Stupidity

The Fake Revolt

Coup D'Etat

History of the Town of Felicity

Hood of Death

Dolls' House Bathrooms: Lots of Little Loos

Border Security / Anti-Infiltration Operations

Living on Light

God is for Real, Man

Did the Apostle Paul Visit Britain?

Twin Peaks

2001

Power Phrases

The Truth About Wagner

The Life of the Bee

Tombstone

Science Looks at Smoking

The Chiricahuas

The New Dark Ages Conspiracy

The Big Question

Everybody's Book of Epitaphs

The Death of the Fuhrer

Mindfuckers

Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?

The World's Worst Poet

Alyssa Milano: She's the Boss

Home is the Desert

Nine Lives: From Stripper to Schoolteacher

How to Start Your Own Country

How to Found Your Own Religion

Sex Objects in the Sky

Indian Oratory

Bastard Without Portfolio

The Bedside Book of Bastards

Hopeless -- Yet There Is Hope

Bible in Pocket, Gun in Hand

Margie Asks WHY

Death of a Hippie

Wake Up or Blow Up

Feeling and Form

Guilt

A Mile in His Moccasins

Mojave Desert Ramblings

Passing of the Outhouse

This Way to Happiness

The Happy Life

Young Only Once

The Monkey Gland Affair

Bert Bacharach's Book for Men

The Two Babylons

For Good and Evil: The Impact of Taxes...

Why Christians Crack Up!

Why Do Christians Break Down?

Hava Nagila!

Beethoven or Bust

How to Abandon Ship

Livin' in Joe's World

The Last Democrat

Salvation Mountain

The Varmint and Crow Hunter's Bible

Love in the Western World

Jack the Ripper: Light-Hearted Friend

Little Men of the NFL

No One May Ever Have The Same Knowledge Again

The Secret Museum of Mankind

James Bond's World of Values

We Did Not Plummet Into Space

The Boy Who Didn't Believe IN CHRISTMAS

The Great Escape From Your Dead-End Job

All About Tipping

My Loser Godfrey

A Haircut in Horse Town

Mucusless Diet Healing System

Jefferson Returns

Lincoln Returns

Churchill Returns

Corporation Freak

Null Bock auf DDR

So You're Going on a Mission?

Nudes in My Camera

Why I Hate the Nazis

Flesh, Metal & Glass

The James Beard Cookbook

Mortal Refrains

Deadbolt

Amy Grant: A Biography

The X Cars

We Were Five

Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder

Hello ... Wrong Number

I'll Kill You Next!

Murder in Vegas

Did MAN Just Happen?

Terror at the Atlanta Olympics

Criswell Predicts

Your Next Ten Years

They Pay Me to Catch Footballs

The Phantom Menace

Just For Fellows

The Lopsided Gal

Astrology and Horse Racing

The Cokesbury Stunt Book

The Origin of Things

Remarks on the History of Things

U.S. Government Sewing Book

Funeral Tributes II

Blinky, the Friendly Hen

The Serbs Choose War

My Mystery Castle

Iggy

Funeral Customs the World Over

The Right to be Let Alone

Mormonism and the Negro

The Church and the Negro

Preacher with a Billy Club

Fighting Parson of the Old West

Invisibility: Mastering the Art of Vanishing

How to Disappear Completely

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man

Langenscheidts Konversationsbuch

Marlene Dietrich's ABC

The Bible in the Hands of Its Creators


A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion

James Taylor (1972)

 

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion is a hilarious book of cartoons lampooning various incarnations of the wise and compassionate religious temperament we humans all know and love so much that we continue to put up with it century after century.

Some choice examples of the book's hilariousness used to appear right here on this page, because it would have been stupid to have a wordy review that tried to explain how hilarious a book of cartoons is. Ever have someone at your workplace corner you and do that? It was the only time in your life when jabbing ballpoint pens through your eardrums stopped pain, wasn't it?

Accordingly, Deuce of Clubs, in partnership with the A.S.S. (Auditory Salvation Society), made the editorial decision to simply show you, without comment, how funny this book is, by way of a few examples, so that we didn't have to button-hole you outside your cubicle and be like that guy who tries to explain the funny. "They're all cartoons of pigs. see? Porcine—get it? One shows a pig reading and it says, "ANGLICAN PIG GLORYING IN ONE OF THE MORE PROVOCATIVE PASSAGES OF HOOKER'S LAWS OF ECCLESIASTICAL POLITY. Holy cow is that funny, huh? And another one depicts a snooty religious pig with his arms crossed, and underneath it says CAMPBELLITE PIG BEING SILENT WHERE THE BIBLE IS SILENT. Oh, man. Can ya see it? Can ya?"

Well, no. You can't see it. Until you see it with your eyeballs. That's what eyeballs are there for. And that's what the sample images were there for. (For a poor imitation of the original, see Fig. 1.)

Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly), there is a soulless killjoy who does not want you to see samples of the subtle brilliance of the humor to be found in A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion. Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly), the soulless killjoy is the religious publisher of A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion, Abingdon Press, who published the book thirty-four years ago.

Well, then.

It's clear that James Taylor's publisher, unlike James Taylor, has no sense of humor. (I have no idea whether James Taylor has a doctorate in cartooning, but if he does, I'll bet that, outside of academic circles, he doesn't insist on signing his name with "Ph.D." after it, which we all recognize as a near-infallible sign of an insecure, insufferable dickhead.)

But there's a larger point here (not that throwing jabs at corporate pricks isn't a worth doing for its own sake). The world has long been accustomed to religious people holding completely senseless positions, but at least when they concern only theology, no harm done. (Sprinkling, immersion, neither, both—who could possibly give a genuine shit?) Senseless positions in publishing are another matter, jack. It's not as though the display of a few of these cartoons was taking bread from anyone's table. (Not even the shewbread, which none but the priests of the temple may eat.) Quite the contrary—we know for a fact that the sample cartoons formerly on this page induced a number of people to seek to purchase copies of A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion in order to see the rest of the cartoons. That is part of the point of these book pages here at Deuce of Clubs: to bring attention to deserving books. When any of these deserving books by some stroke of luck happens to be in print, we always include a link enabling interested parties to buy the book easily.

Aspiring purchasers of A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion, however, have had to rely on second-hand book sources because Abingdon Press—for what are undoubtedly awesomely wise and deeply spiritual reasons that we of ordinary human intelligence could not possibly hope to comprehend—is not interested in keeping this 34-year-old masterpiece in print. Certainly no one expects much in the way of intelligent decisions from religious publishers, particularly religious publishers who can't be bothered to keep a brilliant work like A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion in their catalog because they're too busy bringing out timeless, monumental works such as two books Abingdon is pushing on its home page as I write this (21jun2006):

Drama Queens (and Kings): "Unraveling the challenges of doing a drama using young people's natural tendency to act up and act out."

Milk and Honey Cooking School: "Just say the word Bible history and the eyes of the children (and adults for that matter) glaze over. But if you mention the word "food" then everyone sits up and takes notice. Who doesn't like to eat?"

Well, gosh, Abingdon Press—I really couldn't say. I guess we pretty much all like to eat. Hey now, who knew religious enlightenment could come so easily? Thanks a bunch, Abingdon Press! And thanks for causing the removal of the samples of James Taylor's work, which now hardly anyone will see. Thanks for letting Taylor's fine book languish in out-of-print limbo, while simultaneously refusing to sustain any more of the unspecified yet surely crushing damage that must have resulted from our letting interested readers peek at a few sample pages from a classic work you yourselves show no interest in making available for them to buy and enjoy. (If anyone needs a parable to understand the situation, may we suggest "The Dog in the Manger"?)

Regrettably, therefore, caught between a rat and a cliff-place, Deuce of Clubs has been forced to replace James Taylor's cartoons with one of our own, whose nasty mean-spiritedness, trust us, is in no way reflective of the deft, good-natured humor of Taylor's originals. Maybe before another three & a half decades pass, Abingdon Press will stop being so porcine and re-publish A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion. Until then, enjoy the only widely available example Abingdon has left to you of the religious pig cartoon genre:

To Deuce of Clubs

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Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2006
From: Robert A. Ratcliff rratcliff@bellsouth.net
Subject: A Porcine History of Philosphy and Theology
To the owners of the "Deuce of Clubs" web site:
You have posted on your site pages from the Abingdon Press publication A Porcine History of Philosophy and Theology, by Professor James Taylor. These pages are the intellectual property of Abingdon Press, and appear on your site without permission from the publisher. Please remove these pages from your web site immediately, and respond to this message to let us know you have done so. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Robert A. Ratcliff, Ph.D.
Senior Editor
Academic and Professional Resources
Abingdon Press
201 Eighth Ave., South
Nashville, TN 37203
voice: (615) 749-6303
fax: (615) 749-6061
rratcliff@bellsouth.net
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