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Jefferson Returns (1979)
Lincoln Returns (1983)
Churchill Returns (1981)

by Robert R. Leichtman, M.D.
Through the Mediumship of D. Kendrick Johnson and Paul Winters
There are people who claim to be able to speak on behalf of the dead. A technical term for these people is "mediums."

There are people who believe in mediums. A technical term for these people is "idiots."

"Mediums" make a lot of money off of "idiots." Perhaps this is as it should be.

The illustrations are painted by one of the mediums (or should it be media?): "The illustration on the front cover is a fantasy of Jefferson contemplating the strength and vigor of the ideals of the American Spirit." Dunno, but he looks more like he's contemplating some other kind of fantasy.


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Jefferson: I must interject a comment here. I'm finding it very interesting to speak through this medium. I used to wonder how George Washington felt with a mouth full of artificial teeth. I must say that this afternoon I'm having an opportunity to appreciate the difficulty. [David Johnson wears dentures.]


Jefferson: Of course, the whole problem did not start with Watergate. The trends which lay behind Watergate had been growing for some time.
Leichtman: Exactly.
Jefferson: As you sometimes say, "The pimple on the butt of civilization has to rupture somewhere."


[From a channeling five years later:]

I had forgotten how strange the sensation of communicating through a medium in a trance can be. It's like sitting on someone's lap and "falling through."


Jefferson: Yes, there is intervention by spirits in a goodly number of everyday occurrences, as well as something like Watergate. We are always trying to inspire people to be better citizens. After all, we live here, too -- and still think of ourselves as American citizens.
Leichtman: Do you still pay taxes?
Jefferson: No, that would be taxation without representation.


[The clock on the wall then struck eleven.]
Leichtman: But it's only three o'clock!
[Laughter.]
Jefferson: That clock needs to be exorcised.
[More laughter.]
Leichtman: Would hitting it with a newspaper help?
Jefferson: Wouldn't that be a violation of the freedom of the press?
[Guffawing.]
Leichtman: No, it would be an affirmation of my right to bear arms.
[Hissing and booing.]
[Note how "Lincoln" starts with a little channeling humor ("adept"):]

Lincoln: I'm not very adept at this.
Leichtman: That's all right.
Lincoln: It's interesting to have an itchy nose that is not your own.
[Laughter]
Leichtman: Are you comfortable?
Lincoln: Well, a little bit. It's like talking into a marshmallow and having the marshmallow turn your words into gibberish, if you'll pardon the awful metaphor.
Leichtman: You didn't have marshmallows in your day, did you?
Lincoln: Not that I remember. I'm merely picking up the symbols of this medium's subconscious and using them to my best advantage. It may take me a while to get good at this. I don't believe I have done this before.


[Lincoln demonstrates his grasp of 20th-century technology:]

Lincon: It is not necessary for the child to understand why he shouldn't stick his finger in a light socket, as long as there is an adult who can enunciate or demonstrate this rule for him.


Leichtman: Is there anything else I can give you? Would you like a cookie?
Lincoln: No thank you.
Leichtman: We have plenty of excellent ones. We've learned how to bake really good cookies in the twentieth century.


Japikse: If you had had a tape recorder in your time, you wouldn't have had to write the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope.
[Laughter.]
Lincoln: I probably would have ended up smashing the thing -- dropping it or stepping on it.
[More laughter.]
Japikse: A forerunner of Gerald Ford!
[Guffawing.]
Churchill: I heard you provided cigars in the original set of interviews.
[Laughter.]
Leichtman: That's true. Unfortunately, Paul doesn't smoke, and I don't either, anymore, so I can't accommodate you.
Churchill: Well, that's a real shame.
Leichtman: And I don't have any brandy to offer you, either.
Churchill: This doesn't sound as though it is going to be my "finest hour," does it?
[More laughter.]


Leichtman: All right. How about yourself? How do you keep yourself busy without a nation to run or books to write?
Churchill: I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. As I mentioned earlier, I continue to be involved in influencing the government of the country that was so dear to me and so very kind to me.... I am still an ardent student of civilization and the history of the English-speaking peoples, too.
Leichtman: That sounds like a plug.
Churchill: I guess I did write a few volumes under that title.
Leichtman: Have you figured out a way to take your royalties with you?
[Laughter.]


[Someone gets the bright idea to channel that swine Franklin Roosevelt:]

Roosevelt: Well, I don't have a statement to make. I don't even know why I am here. I thought this was Winston's show. Why am I here?
[Laughter.]
Leichtman: We invoked you.
Roosevelt: I see. I always wondered how that worked.


Leichtman: One thing I'm curious about: what has happened to Hitler since he died?
Churchill: I don't know where in hell he is. [Laughter.] I don't see him around, I can tell you that. And I'm not really interested.