A few Disgruntled Postal Workers display their taste and refinement for the camera. (One's a real postal worker -- think you can you guess which?) Photo by Britain

For one thing, this year apparently anyone with a history of troublemaking got banished to the furthest reaches of the playa. Which, of course, includes: Art Cars, Disgruntled Postal Workers, Portland Cacophony Society, Cardhouse ... and, of course, your host, Deuce of Clubs. Also: no more carrying of real weapons. Well, what's the good of a fake one? I ask you!

And what is this crap? "This information will remain confidential."

What, were they prepping us for the U.S. Census already?

Baggage, you say? Yes. We have baggage.